Searching
by Pongo0614
Summary: Dear Arthur, I am sorry but I cannot take it anymore, I have to leave. It's not about you dollop head, the world doesn't revolve around you. However saying that I would server you until my dying day. It's my guilt that I cannot stand. I allowed Morgana to be taken by Morgause too easily. It's all my fault.
1. Guilt

_Hey Guys_

 _I am back!_

 _I have had this idea for a while and now I just want to get it out to you guys._

 _I know on my profile it says that this will be up on 13th July but I just want to get as many stories out as quick as possible._

 _This starts at the end of series 2 episode 13._

 _I hope you guys enjoy :)_

* * *

 **Guilt**

Merlin sat on his bed, head in his hands.

He had heard Gaius go to bed a while ago but Merlin knew that sleep wouldn't come to him so easily.

He had tried to reassure Merlin that it wasn't his fault but Merlin couldn't help but feel anything other than guilt for his actions.

He was the one to release the dragon. He was the one that told Balinor that he was his father. He was the one to give Morgana the poisoned skin.

Merlin tired not to dwell on the last one but it was the only think he thought about, even when the dragon was attacking.

The way she looked at him as she realised what he had done. The way she tried to fight his embrace. The way she chocked for air.

Merlin laid back, allowing his head to drop back off the bed.

The only good outcome he could think of was that if he hadn't released the dragon, he would have never known who his father was, let alone meet him.

But was it better off not knowing and him being alive or knowing that he was dead because he saved you.

Merlin groaned.

Not only that the dragon could have killed Arthur.

For someone who was so adamant that Arthur needed to be alive to create the kingdom that has been destined, he did take the chance to make sure that wasn't possible.

What if Merlin didn't get there in time? What if the dragon had killed Arthur?

Merlin stood up suddenly and started to pace.

He couldn't sit there. It would only amplify the guilt that he felt.

Merlin stopped in front of his cupboard and pulled out his backpack.

He placed it on his bed before returning to get out the few clothes he owned.

Merlin knew he had to do something. If he didn't, his mind would crumble from the guilt,

He couldn't bring back his father but he hoped he could bring back someone else.

He couldn't wait to find out if Morgana was alive or not. Whatever Morgause has planned, Merlin knew that she wouldn't allow him to know if Morgana was alive until she wanted him to know.

Merlin had spent the last week avoiding the corridor to Morgana's chamber. He knew if he goes down there it would bring back memories that he is trying so hard to hide.

He blinked a couple of times before returning to his task.

If Morgana was alive, he would try and bring her home. If she wasn't, then Merlin knew that he would never be able to return, he would never be able to look Arthur and Gwen in the eye.

If Merlin really tried, he could just blame it all on the dragon.

He was the one that told Merlin not to help her. If Merlin had told Morgana about his magic then she may have not sided with Morgause so easily. He could have shown her that it wasn't something to be afraid of. If Morgana wasn't in a position to turn to Morgause then Merlin wouldn't have been put into a position to have to kill Morgana.

Merlin crumbled to his knees and tried to muffle his sob.

He had to poison her as well. A woman's weapon.

There are numerous ways to kill a person. Merlin could have used his magic to throw her across the room if he didn't want her to know or he could have manned up and looked her in the eye as he stabbed her.

But no, he had to poison her.

Merlin closed his eyes and pictured her face, shocked at his betrayal.

He had to find her. He needed her to be alive.

He didn't care that Morgause would kill him as soon as she saw him. He didn't care that Morgana would hate him for his betrayal.

He needed to see her. He needed a chance to put right his wrongs.

Merlin picked himself off the floor and moved to his table.

He was so glad that Gaius had taught him how to write.

He picked up the paper that Gaius had given him.

This wasn't something that could wait and be said in person.

Merlin had to leave as soon as possible.

* * *

Merlin crept through the physican's chamber, being as quiet and careful as he could so he didn't wake Gaius.

He stopped halfway and placed the letter he had written on the table, propped up by a few bottles.

He knew that Gaius would try and talk him out of it so he hoped that it would suffice a good enough reason to why he had left.

He also hoped that Gaius wouldn't be too angry at him for it.

* * *

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers by the servant's entrance.

He had only used it a handful of times, despite Arthur's continued moaning that it wasn't proper for him to come through the main door, but Merlin knew it was the door closest to the desk.

Merlin pulled out the letter from his pocket and placed it in the middle of the desk.

He hoped that the prat would see it.

Merlin wanted to believe the dragon. He wanted to see the man that Merlin was making.

Merlin had only been in Camelot for two years and Arthur had become less arrogant and more thoughtful about the people rather than trying to please his father.

Merlin would never admit out loud but he was proud of Arthur.

If Merlin couldn't find Morgana, maybe he could return when Arthur is king. It would be the only reason to return.

* * *

Merlin easily left Camelot.

It was bad how easily people could get in and out. Something that needed to change.

He turned to look back.

Merlin could only just see the castle that he had called his home for 2 years. He remembers as the marble castle took his breath away when he first saw it.

He knew he would miss it but he couldn't stay there. The guilt he felt would only grow and become unbearable.

He couldn't bring back his father but there was a chance he could bring back Morgana.

Merlin turned back around and went on with his journey.


	2. The Letters

_Thank you for all the reviews/follows/favourites._

 _In reply to a few reviews_

 _AndreKl - The writes did seem to write him that way. Sometimes he shouldn't have listen to the Dragon. Morgana's destiny was to bring back the old ways. why couldn't they have done it together. They would be one badass team. I am hoping that you will continue to enjoy this Merlin._

 _Howarand - I would blame the Dragon as well and Gaius just a little bit._

* * *

 **The Letters**

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted for the fifth time that morning.

He was late because of that idiot and it had put him in a bad mood.

Maybe the other reason he was in a bad mood was because nobody had brought him his breakfast yet.

"Where is that bumbling idiot?" Arthur muttered to himself as he pulled his shirt over his head.

He had a meeting with his father before he had to go down and train new recruits.

He had definitely missed the meeting and Leon was probably getting the recruits ready.

It didn't look good if Arthur was late.

Arthur was about to move off when something on his desk caught his eye.

He picked up the folded paper that had his name on it and inspected it.

Arthur knew that he didn't put it there last night and he didn't recognise the handwriting, so it couldn't have been his father or one of the Lords on the council.

He turned over the paper and broke the seal.

By the way that it was done, Arthur couldn't imagine it being any of the servants.

He started to read the letter.

 _Dear Arthur,_

 _I would have said this all in person but I know how you are if you are woken up before you have to be. Okay maybe want to be. I am so sorry but I cannot take it any more. I have to leave. It's not about you dollop head, the world doesn't revolve around you. However, as I have said once before, I would be happy to serve you until my dying day. It's my guilt that I cannot stand. I let Morgana get close to Morgause. I allowed Morgana to be taken by Morgause too easily. It's all my fault. I worked out that Morgause has used Morgana as a vessel to fuel a spell. That's why she was the only one awake, not because she had some potion. I had to do a terrible thing and I cannot allow the guilt of my action consume me. I have left to find out if Morgana is still alive and if she is, I will try my best to bring her home. If not, please continue to be the man that you are becoming. I would hate for all my hard work to go to waste. You are a better man than your father and please remember that._

 _Until the next time we met._

 _Merlin_

Arthur blinked a few times before rereading the letter.

He didn't know if he was more confused by what Merlin had written or the fact that he could write.

He had to make sure that this was true.

Merlin wouldn't hurt anyone but it sounded like he had killed Morgana or at least injured her.

Arthur hastily left his chambers for the physician's one, forgetting about the new recruits.

They could wait.

This couldn't.

* * *

 _Gaius,_

 _You have taught me everything I know and I want you to know first off that I am grateful for that and I couldn't have asked for a better mentor. Also I am sorry for the way I acted when you told me Balinor was my father. I never thought I would ever meet him so, I suppose_ _subconsciously, I made you my father. I would hope that you saw me as a son and I wouldn't want it any other way. I know I cannot bring back my father, Balinor, but I do hope I can put right one of my biggest wrongs. I should have told Morgana, I should have shown her she wasn't on her own. I share the same fears that she does. The fear of being a monster. If I did that, then she might have not turned to Morgause and I might not have been in a position to have had to kill her. You might tell me there was little choice but I cannot just sit back and wait until Morgause allows her back, that is if she is still alive. I know sometimes you have to make a choice, even if all the choices are bad ones, but I cannot sit back and choke on my guilt._

 _I hope you understand._

 _Merlin_

Gaius put down the letter and stared forward.

He understood where Merlin was coming from. He had many wrongs that he wanted to put right.

But then again, there is following your head and there is following your heart.

Under these circumstances, Gaius could understand why Merlin was following his heart but he didn't think it was the best idea.

Gauis thought were interrupted when Arthur busted into the chamber.

"He's joking with me." Arthur said, holding up his letter. "Where is the idiot? Is he at the tavern?"

Gaius folded up his letter before showing Arthur.

"I am afraid sire, I have as much as an idea as you."

Arthur's smile dropped.

"No this is all a joke. Has to be. He said that 'he had to do a terrible thing and he couldn't allow the guilt to consume him'. This is Merlin we are talking about. He is a girls petticoat. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

Gaius sighed.

Arthur carried on. "He said that 'Morgana was a vessel for a spell'. Why would that happen? How would that happen?"

"Morgause had … gained Morgana's trust. I don't know all the details but … I do believe that Morgana didn't realise what she was getting herself into." Gaius explained. "After Merlin worked it out, he consulted my books. The only way to stop the spell was to destroy the vessel."

Arthur's face dropped.

"Destroy the vessel? Do you mean he had to kill her? Merlin would never do something like that, especially to Morgana. The idiot is head over heels for her."

Gaius sighed before answering.

"He poisoned her. I do believe that he showed Morgause which poison he used. If Morgause is as powerful as we believe then she should have saved Morgana."

Arthur moved and sat down on the closest bench.

"Where is he then?" He asked, not wanting to dwell on what Merlin had done.

"I don't know sire."


	3. Where to Start?

_Hey Guys_

 _Sorry for the shorter chapter._

 _Also I will not be posting next week as I am going away to Denmark for a few days for Karate._

 _But there is some good news._

 _I am planning on posting this story on Sunday and not Monday when I get back._

 _Reply to Reviews:_

 _The Forrest of Fanfic - There is a big part of me that would love to upload every chapter that I have written so far but then there is a part of me that wants to drag it out. I would love to write more but sometimes it is just hard to come up with the ideas. I would also love to update more often but as I am uploading 3 stories at the same time and also working, my time is limited and I would run out of chapters quickly (I have only got 9 chapters written.) I hope that this is alright :)_

 _AndreKl - I am glad that I have got them right :)_

 _Enjoy :)_

* * *

 **Where to Start?**

Merlin curses himself for what feels like the millionth time.

In his rush to leave Camelot, he had forgotten to take a map or at least a copy of one.

Not that it would have helped because he didn't know where to begin.

Merlin was starting to think that this wasn't the best idea he ever had.

But then again he couldn't stay in Camelot after what he had done.

Merlin stopped and smiled as he reached a familiar fork in the path.

Morgause's Castle.

Merlin almost hit himself for being so stupid.

It was a safe place, far enough from Camelot that they would be safe but still within the border.

Merlin had never used a teleportation spell before but knew that elementary spells were draining.

He closed his eyes to try and remember which way they went.

Merlin snapped open his eyes and ran down the path.

* * *

Merlin swore that it was only took him an Arthur a day and a half to reach Morgause's castle.

It had taken Merlin a week.

He does admit that they were on horseback but Merlin did feel like he was going around in circles.

He did actual tie his neckerchief to a branch only to find it a few hours later.

This filled him with hope but also dread.

 _Did that mean that Morgana was alive? Was Morgause the one to cause him to go round in circles? Does this now mean that they had moved on?_

Merlin walked in the same entrance as he did with Arthur and soon came to the courtyard, block still there.

He looked at it in amazement.

Merlin still couldn't believe that Arthur had placed his head on it and gave Morgause the opportunity to take it off.

He wouldn't have allowed that. Even if it meant his secret known.

He walked passed it to carry on his search.

* * *

Merlin started at the top and had now found himself in the last chamber, the one that Morgause had shown Arthur his mother.

He watched as the crystals still managed to shine with no light.

He lit the torches with his magic.

Merlin looked for anything. A piece of clothing, even just a hair would have been nice.

He groaned with frustration and dropped to his knees.

He knew his task wouldn't be easy, he just hoped that it wouldn't be this hard.

Merlin lifted his head up to see the bracelet Morgana wore hiding in the shadows.

He picked himself up before doing the same to the bracelet.

They were here.

Merlin turned around quickly, his eyes catching a bookcase.

He started to flick through the books, hoping for any indication to where they might have gone.

He pulled out a book when a smaller one dropped out with it.

Merlin picked it up and looked over it.

It was rather plain to the untrained eye but Merlin could see what it was.

It was a book of the Old Religion.

He opened the front to see an inscription.

 _My Dearest Morgause_

 _I hope this will help you with your studies. Sorry I cannot be with you. I would have loved to have seen it._

 _Nimeuh._

Merlin sighed heavily.

He knew where he was going next to look.

* * *

Morgause watched Merlin as he replaced the book before leaving.

 _At least he had the decency to put it back after prying._

She sighed before leaning back in her chair.

She had only just been able to keep him away while Morgana was healing.

Morgause looked over at her sister.

Realistically, she was still too unwell to travel but Morgause couldn't allow Merlin to find her.

She had only just started with what she had planned.

Morgause had originally expected more resistance from Morgana to join her. After all Camelot had become her home and Uther was her guardian. But then it proved how much the tyrant was hated.

The serving boy's actions had been to her advantage.

She could now mould her against Camelot properly.

Morgause made sure Morgana was asleep before leaving her to find Cenred.

* * *

"We have a problem." Morgause said, taking the free seat next to Cenred in his study.

"What problem?" Cenred said, turning his attention from the fire to her.

"The serving boy that poisoned my sister seems to have a conscience. He must feel guilty because I believe he is looking for her."

"Let him search. He will never find you nor get to you." Cenred said with a smirk.

"He was the one to foil my plans. I need time to turn my sister against Camelot. He will ruin everything. Anyway it would be easier to kill him outside of Camelot's walls."

Cenred thought over what she said.

"Is he still in Camelot's lands?"

Morgause nodded. "At my castle at the moment."

Cenred got up.

"I will get my best men on the job."

Morgause smiled.

She couldn't believe how much Cenred was wrapped round her finger.


	4. Weak

_Hey I am back!_

 _Hope you are all good._

 _I had a really great time in Denmark and even managed to come back as a 2nd Kyu (brown belt). It just felt so right putting it on yesterday even though I didn't believe that I was ready for it._

 _Reply to reviews_

 _CHARLES CHUKU - well maybe he will find others that he will_

 _The Forest of Fanfic - Thank you for understanding. I hope that you enjoy this chapter._

 _Sorry this chapter is shorter._

 _Now to see what Morgana has been doing._

* * *

 **Weak**

Morgana struggled to open her eyes.

She knew that she was still healing but she didn't want to be asleep constantly.

The more she slept, the greater the likelihood that she was going to have a nightmare. And it was worse now as she couldn't feel the cool metal of the bracelet on her wrist.

Morgana blinked a few time as the risen sun helped her wake up.

She had, had a few nightmares since she had been with Morgause. Mainly about what happened to her.

It was like her brain was trying to tell her what happened that day.

They were very blurry and disjointed to begin with.

Morgana had asked Morgause what happened, hoping it would clear the fog.

She sat up and leant against the headboard.

If she didn't remember it, Morgana would never have believed Morgause that Merlin had poisoned her.

Although she didn't believe her for his reasons behind it.

Morgause had told her how Merlin stood over her body and told Morgause that all sorcerers were the scum of the earth and he had waited a long time to find a reason to kill her.

Morgana didn't want to believe her.

She remembers how he looked at her when she realised what he had done. She remembered how she tried to fight off his embrace. She remembered how he held her as she chocked for air.

Morgana sighed and tried to banish the thoughts.

If Merlin really felt like that, he wouldn't have helped her when she found out about her magic, let alone help a druid boy on the run from soldiers.

She looked towards the window.

She wanted to find the strength to move out of bed. All she wanted to do was watch the outside world, feel a part of it without being there in body.

Being bed bound was as boring as a council meeting. Not that Morgana had to attend many.

Morgause would come and sit by her bedside and they would idly chat but no one else would speak to her.

All the servants would say was "Yes Milady" or "Right away Milady" and not one of them had looked at her, their eyes fixed on the floor.

Morgana had heard that Cenred was tough on her servants but this was another thing.

She had tried to have a conversation with one of them, just to be told by the servant that they weren't meant to speak to nobility because they weren't worthy.

Morgana assumed that she was dismissed as she hadn't seen her again. Or at least hoped she was dismissed.

Morgana laid back down and rolled over so she was at the edge of the bed. She flipped back the covers to expose her body to the room. She pulled herself up and moved to let her legs dangle over the edge.

She already felt exhausted but she had to do it.

Morgause wouldn't help her as she believed that Morgana needed rest but Morgana thought that she was starting to develop bed sores.

Placing her hands either side of her body, Morgause pushed herself up.

It took her legs a few goes to realise that they could take her weight. Luckily she fell on the bed every time.

Using the bedside table as support, she willed her legs to move.

Morgana took a couple of shaky steps, still leaning on the table.

She looked up at the small gap between where she was and the window. She took a couple of breaths before letting go of the table and taking her first unsupported step.

Morgana almost collapsed onto the windowsill.

She sighed as she lent her forehead against the glass, feeling the warmth from the sun.

Part of her wish Morgause had seen her, it might have change her mind that she needed rest.

Morgana looked out of the window, wondering which way Camelot was.

She had heard of the dragon attack.

Morgana desperately wanted to know if Arthur and Gwen were okay. There was also a part of her that wanted to make sure that Merlin was okay as well.

Apparently, Arthur had slain the beast but Morgause believed differently.

She had said that only a dragonlord can kill a dragon. Whether there was one already in Camelot or one had come in to help them, she didn't know.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Morgause said, rushing to Morgana.

Morgana cursed herself for being so deep in thought she didn't hear her sister come in.

"Who helped you?" Morgause said, Morgana's head in her hands.

"No one, honestly." She said placing her hands on the older woman's forearms. "I got here by myself. I haven't seen anyone all day."

Morgause sighed before lowering her arms to trying and lift her up. Morgana bats her hand away.

"You need to rest."

"No I need to be somewhere other than that bed for 5 minutes." Morgana argued. "Please just sit with me."

Morgause cursed her sister's stubbornness and sat down next to her.


	5. The Replacement

_And it is Sunday again._

 _I swear the weeks go too quickly._

 _Hope you are all okay._

 _Reply to reviews:_

 _mersan123 - I would hope that Morgana did question when she was taken by Morgause but because she had no one to say otherwise she just accepted it._

 _ProcastinationIsMyCrime - I haven't actually included Kilgharrah in this story ... nor have I planned to. I think he has meddled enough._

 _Sorry this chapter is short but I do promise that they do get longer._

 _Hope you enjoy._

 _Lets see what has been happening in Camelot._

* * *

 **The Replacement**

Arthur folded up the letter again for what felt like the millionth time.

He knew that he shouldn't keep looking at it but sometimes he hoped that it would give him some clue as to where Merlin had gone.

It had been a week since he woke up to the letter. One very quiet week.

Arthur never knew that one person could make so much noise in his life and leave such a big hole when they left.

He had only known Merlin for a little over 2 years but he had greatly impacted Arthur.

Well no other servant would have helped him defy his father when he went to meet Morgause or saved him from being drowned when he fell for Sophia or … or save him from being poisoned when he had only known him for a few weeks.

Arthur had spoken to Gwen about it.

She had mentioned that Merlin and Morgana had always seemed closer than they should have been. She said that he always brought her flowers when she wasn't feeling well.

"Sire."

Arthur jumped out of his skin as his latest manservant spoke.

"George." Arthur said trying to calm himself down.

"Sire, you breakfast is on the table and your clothes are laid out on the bed. Do you require any assistance?"

Arthur blinked a couple of times before replying.

"No George. I am sure I will manage."

"Very well Sire." George said, bowing to him before leaving the room.

Arthur blinked a couple more times before getting up and sitting at the table.

He picked up a bread roll and ripped into it.

He goes to put part of it in his mouth when he hears hooves on the cobblestones below.

Arthur races to the window to see a patrol leaving, without him.

Arthur quickly changes before picking up the roll again.

"Sire, where are you going?" George said, falling into step next to Arthur.

"To find my father. I was meant to be going with that patrol."

"Your father is currently indisposed. He is in an important meeting at the moment and has asked not to be disturbed."

Arthur stopped and looked George.

"Spill. What do you know?"

He was sure he saw George cower slightly.

"Milord, he isn't pleased with your behaviour."

"My behaviour?"

"Arthur, you are scaring the poor man." Gwen said, a basket full of washing in her arms.

Arthur sighed.

"I was meant to be going out on that patrol." He explained.

"And is that George's fault?"

The prince looked at the manservant before reply.

"No."

George watched the exchange between them.

"I need to see my father." Arthur said.

"Milord he has asked not to be disturbed."

"Then find me as soon as he finishes. I will be on the training field." Arthur said, going to turn his anger on a dummy.

* * *

"Why wasn't I informed that the patrol this morning was leaving earlier or without me?"

Uther pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Because you would kick up a fuss like this."

"What about my behaviour aren't you pleased with?" Arthur asked.

"Arthur, please. I don't have time for this."

Arthur sighed.

"And when will you have time for it? The more men we have out there, the bigger the chance we could find Morgana."

"And that's the problem. You aren't just looking for Morgana." Uther said, finally properly looking at his son.

"I don't know what you mean." Arthur said, trying to sound innocent.

"You have been trying to find that servant that ran off."

Arthur closed his eyes.

"Sorry father, a good servant is hard to come by." He said, defeated.

"Until such time that you can keep yourself focused, you will stay here."

"Father please." Arthur pleaded.

"An attachment to a servant isn't good Arthur. And don't lie to yourself. He was an awful servant. It was about time he should be leaving."

Arthur turned and left.

* * *

Arthur could admit that Merlin wasn't the best servant ever.

There was his tardiness, his lack of respect and his general look.

Did he own any other clothes other than a red and blue tunic?

But then again, Arthur did like that fact that Merlin didn't use his title.

It made him feel as if he wasn't something special.

Arthur lent his forehead on the window as he watched a patrol come back.

He knows that he shouldn't but he had made his mind up.

He was going out with the next patrol.

Or he was going on his own.

He had to bring them home.


	6. Why Did I Do It?

_Hey guys_

 _I hope you are all okay_

 _Reply to Reviews_

 _AndreKl - Maybe, maybe not_

 _Back to Merlin_

* * *

 **Why Did I Do It?**

Merlin poked the fire.

He wished he had put more thought into this.

Maybe it was better if he just went on patrols with Arthur. They may have already found her. She could be back in Camelot right now.

But Merlin knew that wasn't the truth.

He would have heard about it.

But being by Arthur's side would have been easier.

The more people searching for her, the greater the chance they were going to find her.

His solo mission wasn't going to find her any quicker.

But then again, Merlin felt like he was on the right path.

Nobody in Camelot would have thought to go to Morgause's Castle.

It was too obvious.

Merlin leant back against the tree.

He hoped he was on the right path going to the Isle of the Blessed.

If Morgause was a high priestess, then wouldn't it be a safe place to go.

But then again, it had been destroyed by Uther and seemed derelict even when Nimueh was there.

Merlin ran a hand across his face.

He was tired and sleeping on the forest floor wasn't the most comfortable.

He would have gone to Ealdor but he wanted to give his mother some time.

He had written to her as soon as he could about Balinor.

She deserved to know that Merlin knew. She deserved to know that Balinor had died. She deserved to know how and why he died.

Merlin would guess that it would only have just got to her now.

She needed the time to grieve for the man she fell for.

Merlin had thought about sending her a letter saying that he had left Camelot but thought better of it.

He would return to Ealdor but not just yet.

It was better he told her in person.

But then again, did Merlin want to see the disapproved look in his mother's eye as he told her of the bad things he had done?

He groaned loudly.

Why couldn't life be simpler?

Why couldn't there have been another way?

Merlin cursed himself.

He never made sure that the dragon's way was the only way and he didn't want to look now.

If Morgana was dead, then he would never be able to forgive himself for it.

If Morgana was alive, then he would be able to forgive himself but only when she had forgiven him first.

Merlin should have told her about his magic.

But then again, he had only known her for a little over a year at that point.

His reasons might not be the same as why Gaius and the dragon wanted him to keep it a secret.

He did trust her but he wasn't so sure that Morgana would just run off to Uther and say that everything was down to him.

Would another way have involved magic?

He was this supposed great warlock.

Would the betrayal of not telling her about his magic be worse than him poisoning her?

Merlin would never know but one thing he did know was that their relationship would never be the same again.

* * *

Merlin gave a little smile as he saw the Isle of the Blessed.

It gave him a little comfort to feel the magic of the place.

It wasn't strong but it gave him hope that he could change what had happened.

That magic could return to the land.

Merlin made a note to himself that once magic had returned, then he was going to rebuild the castle.

It seemed like the right thing to do.

Then the High Priests and Priestesses could come back and train as they used to.

Merlin held on to the dream.

The dream that magic would be free once more.

As he had grown into his magic, he had learnt that his destiny was going to be rewarding.

Not only that but he couldn't wait for the day he could tell Arthur who he was. The real him.

Merlin knew the reason why he had to hide, but he wanted to be recognised for who he was.

He was realistically living a lie.

Lancelot knew and accepted him.

Why couldn't other?

Merlin thought back to the Anfac and when he thought Morgana had seen him use magic.

He was so happy that she had found out and it did feel like a weight had been lifted off of him, just to come crashing back down when it was about him being in love with Gwen.

He wished Lancelot had stayed.

He was the only person that Merlin could talk about his magic to other than Gaius.

Lancelot wouldn't be as judgemental as Gaius is.

Merlin stepped into the rickety boat.

It hadn't been long since he had done this the first time.

Merlin could have laughed that the circumstances that led him to do this the first time.

If someone had told him that he would sacrifice himself for Arthur when he first arrived, Merlin would have thought that they had one too many drinks.

It was crazy how so much had changed during that year.

Arthur was still a prat though.

Merlin took in the castle as he came closer to it.

He took it as a bad sign that he had got this far but there was no harm in searching.

Anyway he wanted to see if he could advance his magic.

The book Gaius gave him was great but he had read it so many times that he could recite it from memory.

He needed a new challenge.

He needed to learn more.

That was another thing with the book. It was basic spells that Merlin had mastered very quickly.

There were a few that took time but now that he could, there wasn't really much more to do.

Merlin held on to the boat as it bumped against the castle and came to a stop.

He picked up his bag and exited the boat.

It gave him a slight thrill to be here.

He could feel the magic beneath his feet.

It felt amazing.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this alive.

Merlin wondered around until he found a corridor.


	7. Magical

**Magical**

Morgause and Cenred looked up at the same time as the guard entered the study.

"I trust you have good news." Cenred said.

"Milord, Milady." He said, bowing to them. "We caught up with the serving boy not too far from the castle you sent us to. We followed him for a few days. We believed that he didn't know where he was going …"

"Get to the point." Morgause snapped.

"Milady, he is on the Isle of the Blessed. The other guard is still there waiting for him to come off it."

Morgause looked at the man.

"Are you sure it is the Isle of the Blessed?"

"Of course Milady. It couldn't have been anything but it."

Cenred watched her.

"Now why would he be on there?"

"Magic Milady."

Morgause stood and walked up to the guard.

"Sorry?"

"We believe we saw him use magic." The guard stumbled out.

Morgause looked the guard up and down.

"Are you some idiot? He is loyal to Camelot. He wouldn't have magic. And if he did, then why did he poison my sister?"

"I don't know milady." He whimpered out.

Cenred dismissed him before Morgause could grill him further.

"He can't have magic." Morgause said, moving towards the fire. "He obviously feels close to my sister. He would have told her and in turn she would have told me. It makes no sense for him to have magic. He has meddled in my plans. He can't have magic."

Cenred watched her watch the fire for a while before answering.

"He is traitor to his kind if he does have magic. To serve and protect the Pendragons."

Morgause continued to watch the flames.

"It doesn't make sense." She paused for a second. "But then again, it makes total sense."

Cenred sat down in his chair.

"How?"

Morgause turned to Cenred for the first time since the guard entered the room.

"Think about it. We knew that there must be a dragonlord either in Camelot or they went to find the last. What if the dragonlord is this serving boy?"

Cenred looked at her before starting to chuckle.

"A servant be an all-powerful dragonlord. Morgause, I think you need to go to bed and sleep. You have been worrying to much about your sister. Lack of sleep has made you go mad."

Morgause stared at Cenred.

"It would make total sense. That dragon wanted revenge and tried to burn down Camelot. If there was a dragonlord out there, do you think that he would come to Camelot willingly? After everything that Uther did to him, his kind and kin?" Morgause said.

Cenred thought about it before shaking his head.

"I suppose he wouldn't."

Morgause took the seat next to him.

"But for someone who is already very loyal, it wouldn't be hard. The serving boy wouldn't want anything to happen to his little prince now, would he?"

"Would a dragonlord have magic though?"

Morgause turned her head back to the fire.

"Not necessarily." She said, thoughtfully. "However in saying that, it could. I never had the honour of meeting one before they were all slaughtered."

"So what's the plan?"

"Morgana isn't to know. I need her against him. I want her to think that he poisoned her because of her magic. She put too much trust in him. I hope it will help turn her more against Camelot."

"And the serving boy?"

"I will be keeping a very close eye on him."

Morgause looked into the flames one more time before getting up.

"I should check on my sister."

Cenred nodded before looking into the flames, trying to see what she could.

* * *

Morgause watched over Morgana as she slept.

It was the most peaceful she had been in days and Morgause was thankful for it.

She didn't want Morgana to know that she was the reason she was poisoned.

It puzzled her to how the serving boy knew that was the way to break the spell.

He must have been having help.

Morgause thoughts when to the dragon.

 _Maybe the dragon told him what to do._

Her lips formed a smirk.

 _Maybe he was the one to release it._

Morgause hoped that it was true.

She could just imagine his little face drop as the dragon went about his revenge.

Morgause slipped out of the chamber and walked towards her own.

She could easily think of a hundred things she would love to do to Uther. A hundred different ways she could kill him.

Morgana was the most precious thing to her now.

She could remember the day that she was told that she had a sister.

It was about the same time she wished to find her roots.

When the Isle had been attacked, a few of the high priestess managed to get all the children off and took them as far north as they could, to safety.

Morgause could never imagine what Morgana must have felt when she found out about her magic.

She had always been told to embrace her gift.

She could see why Morgana wanted Uther dead.

She could never have the freedom that Morgause has felt when he was alive.

Morgause entered her chambers and quickly changed before retreating to her bed.

It had been a long couple of weeks.

Morgana was out of the woods now.

Morgause found herself drifting off to sleep very quickly.

* * *

Hunith watched the man go before she closed the door.

She looked at the paper in her hands.

She would always be able to tell her son's sloppy writing.

What worried her was the contents.

He had written in so long that Hunith had been worried that he had forgotten about her.

But then again, she needed to learn to let him go properly.

It had also been a while since she had last seen him.

And she could see how much he had grown.

Hunith turned it over and broke the wax.

Her eyes scanned through the content.

She put it down and felt the tears.

She was relieved that Merlin knew and had met his father but it did hurt any less for her to know that he was now dead.

Hunith would be lying to herself if she didn't wonder if her love was still alive.

It had been so many years since she last saw him.

Hunith folded the letter back up and placed it with the others.

She sat back at the table and let the tears fall.


	8. The Books

**The Books**

Merlin wondered down the halls.

He had spent a few days on the Isle and had found very little. He knew that it might have been a long shot, but Merlin had hoped to find anything that would help him test his magic.

Most of the rooms were black with soot, where they had been razed to the ground. Everything inside destroyed.

Merlin wondered why Nimueh stayed here. He knew her involvement in Arthur's birth. Wouldn't it have pained her to see what Uther had done to her home?

As he learnt more, Merlin didn't know who to blame more for magic being outlawed. Nimueh must have known what was going to happen, but did she just leave out the life for a life part or did she not make it clear to Uther? If she had made it very clear to Uther, then he only had himself to blame. If she hadn't, then she could only blame herself.

Merlin thought about if he was put into the same situation. If when magic was free again, Gwen was found to be barren or maybe Arthur and they asked for his help.

Would he give it? Would he give them what they wanted even though he knew the consequences? Would they not ask him to after they knew the way the spell would work?

Merlin shook his head. It was no point in dwelling over things that might never happen. He had to help magic become legal before they would ask him for his help.

Merlin pushed open the door.

He carefully looked over the room. This must have been where Nimueh was staying. The large four poster bed took up most of the room, not allowing other pieces of furniture into it.

Merlin walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up a crystal that was sitting on it. It looked exactly the same as the ones Morgause had and the Crystal of Neahtid.

 _Maybe they are all the same crystal._

Merlin twisted it in his hands.

Unlike the Crystal of Neahtid, this one hadn't shown him visons as soon as he had touched it. In that moment, Merlin could understand what Morgana felt every time she had a dream. What he saw terrified him. And he had let it happen as well.

Merlin put it down, stood up and continued his search.

The next room he came across filled him with glee.

He had always loved the library at Camelot, but this was something else. Merlin walked down the aisles, running his fingertips over the spines of the books. The words on them coming easy to him. He had always loved how natural the language of the old religion fell from his tongue. There must have been hundreds of books here, forgotten.

Merlin started to pull a few out. He tried to remember the spells that came easier to him. Books on Elementary, Scrying and Telekinesis.

Merlin picked up a book on Healing as he wasn't a natural. There were a few other things that caught his eye such as Teleportation and Ageing spells.

He knew that it would come more useful in the future.

Morgause had already shown the importance of teleportation and Merlin could think of a few situations that it would be helpful just to disappear then explain later.

He took the books back to the room he was using and settled them down. He knew he couldn't take them all. There wasn't enough room in his bag. But he was going to try and absorb as much as he could and take the more important ones.

Merlin picked up the book on healing and started to read.

* * *

Morgana lent into the windows as much as she could, trying to feel the warmth of the sun.

She had become less shaky the more she tried but it was still early days and Morgause wouldn't let her go any further than from her bed to the window and back again. She wanted to go outside, she wanted to feel the sun on her skin, she wanted to feel the wind in her hair.

If she was bored before, Morgana was definitely bored now. There was very little in the room to keep her occupied with and she had constantly requested for a book on anything.

It was better than her thoughts. No matter what she did, Morgana couldn't help but replay that day in her head. She was becoming more and more suspicious of Merlin's actions that day.

It couldn't have been because of her magic. He must have known something that she didn't and now that Morgause is keeping from her. Morgause didn't know Merlin like Morgana did and she knew that he would never do something like that.

He was, as she had once told Arthur, a lover. He hated hunts and killing things. It made no sense.

Morgana was brought out of her thoughts by a knock at the door.

* * *

Morgause scanned the collection of books.

She was very proud of how many magical books she had managed to find in her short stay in the south. She had expected most of them to be destroyed by Uther.

Morgause remembered her train of thought that she had last night, about how she was always told to embrace her gift. Morgana needed to reassurance that she wasn't the bad one in the world.

She picked up a few of the books that she thought her sister would find interesting. It would also keep her busy and hope to stop her trying to get up.

Morgause knew she was getting better but she wanted to make sure before Morgana tried anything too taxing.

She knocked on the door when Morgause reached Morgana's chambers.

"Enter."

Morgause pushed the handle down with her arm and kicked open the door.

"I thought you might like something to read."

Morgana's face grew into a smile.

Morgause placed them down on the table and picked up the top one.

"They are books on magic." She said, sitting next to her sister. "You aren't well enough to try anything yet but practicing to get the right pronunciation wouldn't hurt."

Morgause watched Morgana as she handed over the book.

"Most sorcerers excel in a certain area of magic." She said, as Morgana started to flip through the pages. "We will find yours and make it perfect before we move on."

Morgana looked up at the older woman.

"I have never seen anything like this before."

"Read it and cherish the information. Once you are well enough we will start."

"I will never have this opportunity in Camelot." Morgana said, turning her attention back to the book.

 _One of the reasons why I have given them to you._ Morgause thought.


	9. Does Cenred Have Any Guests?

**Does Cenred Have Any Guests?**

Merlin walked along the familiar path. The path home. It had been over a year since he last came home and he had hoped that very little had changed in that knew he had been writing less as well. He was either too busy or just too tired when he had the time to write.

Merlin knew that he would enjoy being home, even if the circumstances weren't great.

He had little idea of what he was going to say to his mother when he saw her. He hoped that she had got his letter about his father. It was her right to know that Merlin knew about Balinor and she had a right to know that he was dead.

 _No man is worth your tears._

Merlin may have not known him long but Balinor was worth his tears. He knew that Arthur just saw Balinor as a stranger that was going to help them but he would always be more to Merlin, whether he was his father or not. Balinor had magic running through his veins. He was kin anyway.

Merlin looked up and smiled as he saw the village between the trees.

* * *

"Merlin's back." A boy shouted as he passed Hunith.

Hunith watched the boy go, looking at him in confusion.

Merlin wouldn't come home without tell her first. He shouldn't come home. He has too many responsibilities just to up and leave. His place was at Arthur's side now, not at her's. Not anymore.

"Mother?"

Hunith turned to the voice.

"Merlin what are you doing here?" She said, latching her arms around his neck.

"Just fancied a trip home." He said, returning her embrace.

Hunith felt Merlin hold her tighter than he had for a while. She knew something was up but she wouldn't press. He would tell her in his own time.

* * *

The axe came down and spilt the wood in half.

Merlin had been in Ealdor for just over two weeks and he knew that his mother knew that something was up and he was becoming worried to why she hadn't asked anything. She hadn't even enquired when he was going to go back.

He knew he would have to tell her but it was hard. He didn't want her to know of the things he had done. He wasn't proud of anything he had done.

But then he was trying to build a destiny that he did believe in. Merlin knew he had done awful things in the name of Arthur. He had killed Sophia and her father, Edwin, Lady Helen and Nimeuh just to name a few.

But it was the people he allowed to die for his destiny that haunted him as well. Freya and Will were the two that affected Merlin the most.

Will was his long term friend and the only person to know of his magic in Ealdor, save for his mother. They had grown up together and Merlin always knew that Will would accept him. Ealdor was a lot quieter without him and Merlin couldn't help but blame himself. He was the one to persuade Will to help fight with Arthur for their village. He was the one to use magic and distract Arthur. Merlin was eternally grateful to Will for saying that it was him that used magic but there will always be a part of him that would wonder what Arthur would have done if he had confessed to him. He knew Arthur's stance on magic.

Freya … Freya was just unfortunate. Merlin couldn't have saved her from what had happened to her before he met her. Part of him wished that he never had saved her. Just to save him from the heartbreak of his destiny killing her. But Merlin cherished the few days he had with her. It felt good to help one of his own and try and live like they were free. He would have given her anything that she would have wanted. It was like she was a lower class version of Morgana. Someone who he could be with.

Merlin threw the last few logs into the cart before he started to pull it back home.

* * *

Merlin jumped out of the way as a troop of horses came thundering down the path in the forest.

He had never known so many knights to come this way. And they were holding the Esstir banner. Cenred was rather reserved when it came to sending out patrols. They would always be made to look like bandits.

Merlin knew he had to ask his mother when he got back.

* * *

Merlin rolled his shoulders as he walked through the door.

"I said that I would do that." Hunith said as she saw her son's discomfort.

"It's fine. You shouldn't have to do that."

He fell into one of the benches at the table and started to eat the stew left for him.

"I thought you would have been home before sunset."

"I would have been."

Merlin started to push the meat around the bowl.

Hunith sat down at the table and took her son's free hand in hers.

"Something is troubling you."

"Did the knights pass through here?" Merlin asked.

"There has been more activity. We believe that Cenred is worried because Camelot is sending out more patrols. But then Cenred always has liked a good war."

He nodded.

"From what I hear, and you know I am not one for gossip of any kind, Cenred has been recruiting anyone who wants to fight. If anything, I believe he is getting ready to march."

"Does Cenred have any guests?"

Hunith gave him a confused look.

"It doesn't matter." He said trying to get up.

"A blonde haired woman has been seen around the castle."

Merlin sat back down again.

"Was there a black haired woman with her?"

"I do not know."

Merlin sighed heavily.

"Merlin, what is on your mind?"

"I did a bad thing. A very bad thing. And I am trying to make it right."


	10. Happenings

**Happenings**

Merlin sighed heavily.

"Merlin, what is on your mind?" Hunith said, staring at her son.

She was so confused at this moment. Her son knew he could always tell her anything. He had easily told her about his destiny and how it made him feel but she couldn't understand why this was so hard.

"I did a bad thing. A very bad thing. And I am trying to make it right."

Hunith waited for Merlin to look up at her before she said anything,

"Merlin we all do things …"

"You don't understand." Merlin said, cutting her off.

Hunith leant forward and took his hand.

"Then make me."

Merlin's eyes dropped to their hands.

He wetted his lips before he continued."I am hoping that the blonde haired woman is called Morgause. Because if she is then I can only hope that I can make something right." Merlin rubbed his thumb over the back of his mother's hand. "Morgause came to Camelot a little while back and challenged Arthur to a duel to the death. She won and in return for his life, she wanted him to meet her. Arthur sulked for days because he was beaten by a girl."

Merlin smiled at the memory before continuing. "When we arrived at her castle, she asked Arthur to put his head on a block while she held an axe. I believe that she just wanted to see if he would keep his word. Then Morgause showed him his mother." Merlin looked up at her. "And told him the circumstance of his birth. He was so angry. We rushed back to Camelot. The bad thing was that Arthur believed that he could trust magic. I believed that he hadn't been tainted by his father. But with his new knowledge, he stormed into the council room and almost killed Uther. I had to stop him. I had to say that Morgause was controlling it. And Arthur lost all his faith in magic."

Hunith nodded.

"I was thanked by Uther though." Merlin gave her a small smile.

"But what does this have to do with now?" Hunith asked.

"The Fires of Idirsholas were relit by Morgause and I believe while we were away, Morgause recruited Morgana to help her in her goal. I don't know what she wanted but I could guess that it was Uther dead."

He paused for a moment. "Morgana is like me. She has magic."

Merlin lifted his eyes to see his mother's expression.

"Right." She said.

"I tried to help her without revealing mine. I sent her to the druids. I did want to help her but then Gaius and the goddamn stupid dragon told me not to. The dragon was the worst. He had already told me that Morgana and Mordred would be joined in evil, but then he told me that she shouldn't know the full extent of her powers and it just planted a seed of doubt. I knew exactly what she was going through but I was scared. Scared that she would turn me in and blame everything on me.

"Morgause must have known about her hatred for Uther and played on it. She put a spell on Morgana, making her the vessel for a sleeping spell. It was powerful, so powerful that even my magic couldn't stop its effect. Arthur and I had gone to investigate and came back to Camelot to everyone asleep save for Morgana. I told Arthur that it was because of a potion and Morgana believed it was her magic.

"I couldn't find a way to wake everyone up so I went to the dragon. He told me how to stop it. He said that I had to destroy the vessel. So I gave … I gave Morgana a …"

Hunith squeezed his hand in encouragement.

"I have done many things for my destiny and it doesn't get any easier." Merlin said after a while. "I had no choice. I gave Morgana a … a poisoned water skin."

He closed his eyes.

"I saw that she knew what I had done. I … I tried to hold her. Tried to comfort her."

He could feel the tears building up and opened his eyes.

"That's why I wanted to know. I need to know where Morgana is. I need to make sure she is alive. If she is then I need to get her away from Morgause. I need some relief. I feel as though I am drowning in my own guilt." Merlin released her hand and wiped his eyes. "Then a few days later, I meet the father that I never knew just for him to die for me."

Hunith got up and walked around the table to her son. She wrapped him up in a sideward hug and rocked his slightly.

"It will be okay. It will get better."

She planted a kiss into his hair.

* * *

Hunith watched as Merlin packed his bag.

It reminded her of the first time he let him go. She had seen a difference in him in the last few days. He seemed less burdened by it.

Hunith would be lying if she said that she wasn't horrified by Merlin's actions. She wished as much as him that there could have been another way. But as he had opened up to her, she had talk to him about his father.

She had told him how she met Gaius on the border to led those he had saved to Ealdor, how Gaius had told her to look after Balinor and to not let him out of her sight, how he didn't speak for weeks after she invited him into her home, how he destroyed her home in his rage and then fixed it all, how he opened up to her, how she fell in love with him.

Hunith knew that Merlin would have loved to of heard it years ago.

"I think I have everything."

She pushed herself off the door frame as he walked over to her.

"Don't worry I will be fine." Merlin said, kissing her forehead.

"I cannot help but worry. Morgause seems extremely dangerous."

"The reason why I need to get Morgana away from her."

Merlin walked past her.

"It took courage Merlin."

He stopped and looked at her.

"It took courage to do something like that to someone that you know and care for and love. Please just remember that if you don't get the result you hope for."

Merlin smiled and nodded.

* * *

Now Merlin never expected Essetir to be anything like Camelot. But it disappointed Merlin by how bland the castle was. The grey stone, that the castle was made of, made the castle stand out but not in the way that Camelot did.

Camelot showed warmth. Essetir made Merlin want to turn away from it. The castle was nowhere near as grand as Camelot.

Merlin sighed and hoped that he did need to be here long.


	11. The Mission

_Back to Camelot and see what Arthur and Gwen are doing_

* * *

 **The Mission**

After Arthur had told Gwen that he was leaving to find Merlin and Morgana, she tried to think of some way to make him take her as well.

She knew that she wouldn't have much luck in it. She knew that Arthur was too stubborn for his own good, like both Uther and Morgana.

She was happy that he was going to go and look for them. It just seemed right that he was.

Gwen could trust that Arthur would bring them home rather than the patrols that came and left the castle daily.

She only noticed that she had been pacing when Arthur walked through the door.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." Gwen said, giving him a smile.

They both were remembering what happened the last time they were in here alone. It was the day they stopped lying to themselves.

"Did you manage to get everything?" Arthur asked.

"Just about. I only just managed to get your sword out of the armoury. Leon saw me with it and asked me why I wanted it. I just said that you had mention that it was starting to get a little blunt and I was going to take it to the blacksmith. Be bought it, luckily."

Arthur nodded. "Good, good."

"Let me go with you." Gwen pleaded.

"I won't put you in that danger."

"What danger? I will be with you."

Arthur gave a small chuckle. "I am glad you have so much faith in me."

"Why wouldn't I? You are the best warrior in the kingdom. If I didn't feel safe with you, then I would feel safe with no one."

"Even so, you aren't coming with me. I need some link to Camelot. How else will my father know if I need backup?"

"So where are you going to start?" Gwen said, dropping the subject.

"Ealdor. I hope that Merlin would have gone home as he hasn't been in a while. Hunith would hopefully tell me where he has gone."

"And if he hasn't?" She questioned.

"If not, then I will backtrack and go to Morgause's castle. It would be a safe place to keep Morgana and it is out of the way. Unless you know where it is then you wouldn't know about it."

Gwen nodded a few times.

"If it is any consolation, I would love to take you with me but I am scared about what Morgause can do. She raised the Knights of Medhir and managed to make the whole of Camelot fall asleep. She is obviously powerful. I would…" Arthur paused.

Gwen tilted her head slightly.

"I would never live with myself if something happened to you. Because I do care for you Gwen." Arthur wiped his clammy hand on his trousers. "And, even though I can only admit this to a few people, I do love you."

Gwen felt her heart swell. "And I love you too." She whispered.

Arthur smiled at her before closing the gap between them and placing his lips on hers. It felt exactly like the first time it happened, it felt right.

Arthur was the one to pull back and placed his forehead on Gwen's. "I will write to you when I can. I want you to keep updated."

"I hope so."

"And I will bring both of them back."

Gwen looked into Arthur's eyes. "I know"

Arthur gave her another quick kiss before leaving the same way he came in.

* * *

It wasn't very often that Gaius asked for help, but Gwen knew this wasn't because he wanted it. It was the only way to get her alone to ask about Arthur.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" Gwen said.

"It was stupid to help him."

"Arthur will make more progress on his own in a few days than the patrols have made the past weeks."

"It that so." Gaius questioned. "I would like to remind you that he is the crowned prince an heir to the throne. If anything happens to him."

"Would it be so different if he was with a patrol? He is in normal peasant clothes so no armour to slow him down. Yes he does have his sword but that is only for protection. He has food and water and if he runs out I am sure he would be able to hunt. He is on his own. It will mean that he is more of a target for bandits but no one else would question him. Please have faith in him."

Gaius stared at Gwen for a little while.

"I just hope that you are right."

* * *

Gwen thought about the conversation she had with Gaius.

It wasn't that she wanted him to go but she had seen how Arthur had been and knew how much he blamed himself for Morgause taking Morgana. It wasn't his fault but he believed that he was the one in charge at that point. He was the one to protect them.

Gwen let him go because she knew that he wouldn't be happy until he did his bit in trying to find them. If Uther hadn't stopped Arthur from going then she believed that he would still be here now.

There could be many people that could be blamed for their disappearance but Gwen felt it. The halls were too quiet and empty. There didn't seem to be any shouting or the laughter that would follow.

Gwen felt alone in a place she had called home all her life and for the first time, she would have been glad for Arthur and Morgana's squabbling or for Arthur to shout that he wasn't a prat or Merlin being called an idiot or the everyday chats she would have with Morgana.

She missed her friends, whether they were ones that she was allowed to have or had all been close and Gwen was scared that this may change. That they all might have changed when they come back.


	12. Do You Have Any Experience?

_Hey guys._

 _I have officially finished writing this so I hope that you will enjoy the way I take it._

 _Now back to Merlin in Essetir_

* * *

 **Do You Have Any Experience?**

Merlin turned the tankard around, swirling the ale. Camelot's ale was better than this, so much so that he was sure that they had watered it down so they brought more. Not that he was going to buy anymore tonight.

It was the only tavern and in the few days that Merlin had been here, knew that everyone from the castle, whether a servant or a knight, came down. And they talked.

Merlin picked up his tankard and downed the rest of the ale. He placed it down and got up.

"Watch it mate."

Merlin jumped back out of the way of the servant carrying a tray of drinks.

"Sorry." He said.

"Well no harm done." The man quickly ran off but came back again before Merlin had moved. "Sorry they were for the knights. I'm Bedidur." He held out his hand.

"Lancelot." Merlin quickly said, shaking his hand.

If he was with the knights, then he worked in the castle. He had wanted to use his real name but he had to stay low. The less Bedidur knew about him, the better.

"Let me get you a drink."

Merlin wanted to say no but did anyway.

"So what brings you to Essetir, Lancelot?" Bedidur said when they sat down.

"Looking for a job mainly. There was very little for me when … when my lord lost his lands to a band of bandits."

"Bad times mate. Good for you, the king is currently looking for a new manservant. They say that he was laid off because of his tardiness but I knew Drudwyn, he was never late." He leant closer and Merlin followed. "I have heard that he was killed by one of Cenred's guests because he was caught eavesdropping."

Merlin nodded. "A guest did that?"

"Oh yeah, she is vile. One of the worse people I have ever met. She turned up one night with another woman, demanding that we woke the king. Nobody ever wakes the king unless his kingdom is falling."

"Do you happen to know her name?"

Bedidur thought for a moment.

"I heard the king call her Morgause. Does it mean something to you?"

"Just I had to travel through Camelot to get here. I heard that the Lady Morgana had been taken. I hear her beauty is unmatched."

"You should have got to Camelot. There ain't much here mate."

"Probably but you never know until you try. Thanks though."

"No problem. Do you think you will go for the job?"

"Maybe."

* * *

Merlin was up early and made his way to the castle. Of course he was going to go for the job. He would be stupid not was inside the castle and he could be close to Cenred that he could find out what he was planning.

It was a win win situation. Everything would turn good.

Merlin asked a guard to where he should go.

* * *

"So Lancelot, you don't look like you have the makings of a manservant."

Merlin forced himself not to look up or speak.

Bedidur had told him that Cenred ran a tight household. One that believed that servants were under the nobles. So much so that the servants couldn't look at some of the lords and ladies.

Merlin couldn't think of anything worse. The banter that he had with Arthur kept him going throughout the day. It made the atmosphere light and Merlin couldn't lie, he did enjoy trading insults.

"Do you have any experience?" Cenred asked as he slumped back into his throne.

"Yes sire. I worked as Lord Hollomore's manservant until his lands were taken over by bandits. They took no prisoners. I helped get Lohot out but unfortunately we got separated as we passed through Caerleon."

Cenred nodded.

"I heard of Lord Hollomore's downfall. He had always put his trust in the wrong people." He looked up at Merlin. "You seem to be the only one that hadn't stabbed him in the back."

Merlin gave him a short nod. He had no idea who Lord Hollomore was but Uther had been saddened by it when the news hit Camelot. It seemed like a good story to take on.

"How soon can you start?"

"Now if you wish sire."

Cenred smirked. "Yes, you will do perfectly."

* * *

Merlin's head hurt from trying to remember where all the servants' corridors led to and which was the right one to go down. He knew that Camelot had them but Merlin had never really used them.

The corridors were deserted and it made him sad. He enjoyed going down the halls and wishing everyone a good morning. Everyone knew everyone in Camelot.

Here in Essetir, you had to keep your head down and be silent and only speak when spoken to.

Merlin had moved into the servant's quarters and one of the stable boys had shown him his tongueless mouth. One of the other servants explained that he had spoken when Cenred was questioning another of the stable hands. It didn't end well.

He was running an errand for Cenred. A note was to be given to one of his guests on the other side of the castle. A Sir Kai.

Merlin was thankful it wasn't to Morgause. He didn't want to be caught out before he had even confirmed what everyone was saying.

He was about to cross a corridor when he heard voices.

"I am fine."

"You need to go back to your room."

"And you said that the library wasn't far. Please Morgause, I am dying of boredom in there."

"I have given you books to read."

"And I am not being ungrateful for them, but I want something that I can read and understand. You say I am not well enough to try them. I need something else to keep me occupied."

Merlin leant against the wall and let out a shaky breath. She was alive and well. It filled him with happiness.

He stayed still as they passed him. Morgana was using the wall to keep her balance while Morgause walked alongside her.

"This is madness. You need to rest."

"And I will. When I have a good book."

Merlin smiled.

Her stubbornness was still there and, other than looking a bit thinner and using the wall for support, looked as though nothing had ever happened.

He just hoped that he could make it up to her.


	13. Missing

_Just finished a 50 mile bike ride, in the rain as well. How I am still walking I will never know. We will find out tomorrow._

 _Enjoy :)_

* * *

 **Missing**

Morgana didn't want to sound ungrateful but she was starting to miss Camelot. And she knew that Morgause knew that as well. She missed everyone, and she meant everyone. Even though she hated Uther, she missed him.

But Morgause had started to allow her to walk around the castle and sometimes on her own. She was allowed to go anywhere and everywhere.

Morgana didn't start missing Camelot until she started to imagine that she keeps seeing Merlin about. It may only be for a second as he rushes around a corner or crosses a corridor but she was sure she was going crazy because of it.

She had known Arthur for years. Her father used to take her to Camelot a lot when she was younger and Uther would visit them down at Tintagel. They had always known each other and when she came to live permanently in Camelot after her father's death, Arthur was the one to help her settle in. He has been there for her ever since.

Gwen had been recruited as her handmaid when she arrived. They had hit off instantly and Morgana would say that she was her best friend, even though they were of different classes.

Uther is hard on her and she doesn't agree with any of his ideas on magic, but he took her in. She was grateful for everything he had given her and she knew that her father would want her to be with someone that he trusted.

But Merlin. She hadn't known him long but she trusted him. And at the moment, trusted was the right word.

He was the one to help her out with her magic when she had no idea what was happening. But then he poisoned her. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to find out his reason to why he did it.

He must have had a good reason to do it. He must have known something that she isn't been told.

Morgana sighed as she leant back in the chair, closing her book and placing it on her lap. She had stopped reading ages ago but wanted to see like she was doing something.

She wanted to go back.

* * *

Merlin has seen a lot of Morgana recently and hopes that she hasn't seen him. Cenred had kept him busy so he hadn't had much time to think about what he was going to say to her but he knew he had to act soon. Morgause seemed to keep a close eye on her and Merlin was trying to find out what she had planned.

It had been almost 2 months since he left Camelot and Merlin was missing his second home. He had been fine all the time he was on the road but now as he had stopped in one place, with the same job as he had, he really started to feel it.

But then he would catch Morgana looking out towards Camelot. He wondered if she felt the same as him. Morgana had been in Camelot a lot longer than him.

It was another reason to act soon. They should be getting back.

Cenred was on edge because of the increase in patrols in Camelot. Merlin couldn't blame him, especially when they are searching so close to the border. But he couldn't see why Cenred couldn't see that they were looking for Morgana rather than searching for a reason to go to war.

Then again, Morgause had him wrapped around her finger. He shouldn't, but he had been eavesdropping in their conversations and Merlin didn't realise how destructive Morgause could be. The plans she had would destroy the peace of the kingdoms. One of the ones she had was to spread rumours across the kingdoms to try and destroy alliances. Luckily Cenred had told her that it wouldn't work.

They would have to take Camelot before they noticed. It was going to be the only way.

Merlin wanted to send all the information he had gained to Arthur but he thought better of it. Every letter that came out of the servants were read before they were sent off. He knew he could never send that type of information without being killed.

Merlin sighed as he knocked on the door.

He had to act soon. The longer he left it, the harder it would be.

* * *

Arthur poked the fire to try and keep it alive.

He would admit that he was slightly out of his depth. He had always had someone to do everything for him and did struggle to get the fire started in the first place. But he was extremely proud of himself when he did do it.

Arthur had managed to catch a few things as he walked through the forest. But then he had been thinking a lot since he left. The main question being was it the right choice to leave. He knew that the patrols could only do so much but could he do any more on his own. But then he had ideas and places that he thought about going, whereas the patrols would just look where they had been told.

He had to get Merlin and Morgana back to Camelot. It was where they belonged and Arthur did blame himself for them not being there. He was meant to look after and protect Morgana. He was the one trying to be the hero and keep back the invincible knights. Arthur knew there was very little that he could have done and he knew that his father didn't blame him but Morgause did take her too easily.

Merlin's departure was the biggest thing on Arthur's mind. He knew that the manservant was closer to Morgana than was acceptable but his letter still made no sense to had read the letter so many times he could recite it.

Morgana had always been right, not that he was going to let her know that, when she said that Merlin was a lover rather than a fighter. And he didn't think any little of him because of it. But the letter worried Arthur, especially the 'I have left to find out if Morgana is still alive' part. He didn't know what Merlin had done but he hoped to find out.

Everything that happened wasn't their fault. It was all down to circumstances.


	14. The Plan

**The Plan**

Merlin paced down the corridor.

He knew that there wasn't a big chance that he could get caught. Cenred had given him the whole morning off because he was going to be in a meeting with Morgause. All he had to do was his daily chores, which Merlin could quickly do in an hour.

Merlin needed Morgana to know of his plan and she also needed to know that she wasn't seeing things. He would see her giving him a second look, trying to work out if it was her imagination or not.

He had to knock soon.

The halls wouldn't stay clear for long and he did not want to get into trouble for being in sight.

Merlin hated Essetir and the way they looked down on their servants. He had to remember which ones you had to keep concentrated on the floor for and which ones he could get away with saying more than yes milord or milady to. He missed how relaxed Camelot was.

Merlin took in a deep breath and faced the door.

It was now or never.

He raised his hand and gave three firm knocks.

* * *

"Sorry."

The guards swallowed heavily.

"We lost him when he crossed over the border."

Morgause started to walk towards them. "You had one task. One very simple task. All you had to do was follow him and you lost him."

"Milady he cannot be far. He crossed the border."

Morgause turned to the guard. "Or he might have seen that you were following him and walked over the border so you would follow and he has double back."

The guard gave her a confused look. "But milady, Morgana is here. He is looking for her. Why wouldn't he come here?"

She gave him a bewildered look.

"How would he know for definite that she is here?" Cenred interrupted. "He is going on impulses."

Morgause turned to him. "You had some problems in one of the villages on the border. Did Arthur cross it to save them?"

"Ealdor. Camelot might as well have it by the amount of trouble they caused there."

"The serving boy isn't from Camelot, that's for sure. Maybe he could have gone there first rather than gone straight to Essetir. Maybe that is how you lost him?"

"If that is true milady, why didn't he come to Essetir for work?" One of the guards asked.

"Gaius."

Cenred and the guard looked at her strangely.

"The old physician has seen many people over time and Nimueh had told me that he had used magic in the past. Maybe his mother thought that Gaius could help him with his gift."

"We seem to be saying maybe a lot." Cenred mentioned.

"Like you have all the hard facts." Morgause growled.

Cenred sank down in his chair.

* * *

Morgana liked the fact that Morgause had become more relaxed about her. She felt like she had finally recovered from her 'ordeal' as Morgause liked to put it. It seemed as though it was a lovely day and Morgana couldn't wait to just get out of the castle.

Morgause didn't like her leaving the walls, but she was in a meeting with Cenred all morning. She would easily be back for Morgause even realised that she had left.

Morgana wasn't stupid so wasn't going to go to the marketplace but just to see the knights training would distract her, hopefully.

She felt as though she was going mental. Was it her subconscious trying to tell her something? Was it her subconscious tell her to forgive him for what he did?

She shook her head to clear the thoughts. There was no way that Merlin was in Essetir so it had to be her subconscious.

Then there was a knock at the door.

Morgana looked around. The servant had come in earlier and taken the breakfast things away. She had a mountain of books, so it couldn't be anyone bring any more. Morgause was in the meeting. There was no one that it could have been.

She walked towards the door and opened it.

"What … wait what" Morgana stuttered out as Merlin pushed her into the room.

"Sorry I have been out there long enough." He said, shutting the door behind him.

She wanted to pinch herself because it couldn't be real. She reached out and touched his jacket, working her way up to his neckerchief and then she slapped him.

Merlin rubbed his cheek. "I deserved that."

"Oh goddess, you are really here." Morgana threw her arms around him.

He hugged her back. "I must admit that I am not use to being slapped then hugged."

She pulled back. "I thought you were my imagination. I thought that I was seeing you because I have no idea what happened that day, other than the fact that you poisoned me, which I am not over yet. But I just thought it was my subconscious telling me to forgive you."

Merlin dropped his arms to his side. "I will explain everything and tell you anything that you need to know but … I am going to get you out of here. We will return to Camelot. But before we do anything else, you need to know the truth and I need to tell you something that I should have told you a while ago."

Morgana watched him as he walked over to the bed and sat down, patting the space next to him.

* * *

"He is getting too close and I don't like it." Morgause said.

"What do you want me to do? Do you want me to ask every guard to look for him?" Cenred asked.

"No, I shouldn't have let your men try and look for him in the first place. I knew that they would let me down as they always have done. No I will not need you help this time."

"So what do you plan to do?"

She turned to him. "Well I am going to find him myself. I will also deal with him myself."


	15. Didn't You Trust Me?

_And we have now reached the halfway point in this story._

 _Hope you enjoy this chapter_

* * *

 **Didn't You Trust Me?**

Morgana licked her lips before she spoke. "Merlin what is this all about?"

Merlin scratched the back of his neck. "I am sure you will have some questions, the main one being why did I poison you. But let me explain first. I have a lot to say and slowly running out of time to say it in."

She nodded and walked over to the bed, taking the spot that he patted.

"The Fires of Idirsholas were relit by Morgause as you know as that is why she was with the knights of Medhir. The sleeping spell, you believed that it was your magic keeping you awake right?"

Merlin waited for her to nod before he continued.

"Well it wasn't. You were the vessel that fuelled the spell and the only way to stop it was to destroy it." Merlin didn't look up at her. "I didn't want to and if I had time I would have wanted to find another way but I didn't and I trusted the information that I was given and …" He took a deep breath. "There are many other things that he has said that I shouldn't have listened to."

"Where did you get that information from? I guess that it wasn't Gaius because he would have been asleep."

"The dragon. The one that Uther kept underneath the castle. I don't think he partially likes you. He has constantly told me that you are not to be trusted and it was worse when you found out about your magic. He said that you should never know the extent of your powers. Should have known that it would all go wrong when he demanded that I released him."

"Must have been horrible to see Uther cower in fear." Morgana said sarcastically.

"Killgharrah, the dragon, managed to wound Arthur."

Merlin looked up to see Morgana's face fill with worry.

"Is he okay? Please say that he is okay."

"You know Arthur, he always comes bouncing back somehow."

"Gwen? Is she okay?"

"She is fine. She has taken on more general work around the castle. I think she is trying to keep herself busy. It is like the whole castle is trying to ignore the fact that you are gone."

Merlin drags his hand through his hair.

"There is more."

"More? What else have you been keeping from me … us?"

"The dragon, he told me of this destiny. He told me that Arthur is the Once and Future King that will unite the land of Albion and with my help, magic will return to the land."

"Your help?"

Merlin leant his forearms on his thighs and rubbed his hands together.

"I am warlock."

Morgana creased her eyebrows in confusion.

"A warlock? One of Morgause's books said that a warlock was a person born with magic." She sounded hysterical. "You would have told me if you had magic. You wouldn't have left me on my own."

"Forbearnan."

Merlin opened his hands to show the flame dancing on his palm.

He felt the bed move as she got up and moved onto the other side of the room.

"I am meant to be the greatest sorcerer to ever live. The druids call me Emrys and believe that I am their saviour. I just thought that I was some sort of freak back in Ealdor. I didn't fit in and Camelot … In Camelot, everything just seems to make so much sense."

"You sent me away when you could have helped me. You left me on my own. You left me to think that I was some sort of monster." She turned to him. "Didn't you trust me?"

And there is was again. The same look she gave him when she felt the effects of the poison. Betrayal.

"I was … I thought you had found out when we defeated the Anfac but you thought that I had … a crush on Gwen. As sweet as Gwen is, she is and always will be a friend."

He watched Morgana as she thought about it.

"The clay monster that we fought off with fire and that convenient gust of wind that came through when we were underground. Gwen was the main suspect because I had been stupid and healed her father because I couldn't watch her suffer."

Morgana's eyes went wide.

"You would have told me then. You had only been there a few weeks."

"Well, you have always thought differently about magic." He sighed. "And if you haven't already guessed, yes magic does chose you rather than you chose it."

She leant against the table.

"So why didn't you tell me when I found out about mine?"

"Honestly, I was told by the dragon and Gaius not to. They said it would be too dangerous. But that wasn't the reason. I did trust you but you were so scared of your magic … I didn't know that if I told you, you wouldn't have just ran to Uther and blame me for everything."

"I wouldn't have." She whispered.

"I wanted to tell you." He said, getting off the bed. "I wanted you to know." He walked towards her. "I was so happy when you found out. I wanted to help you. That is why I sent you to the druids." He stood in front of her. "I hope that you can forgive me. Forgive me for keeping my magic a secret and for poisoning you. I didn't want to do either."

Morgana leant her forehead on his chest.

"All in due time. It may take a while for me to trust you again."

Merlin put his arms around her and placed his chin on top of her head.

"I don't expect you to forgive me quickly. I still haven't forgiven myself for it."

She nuzzled into his chest.

"I am happy to see you." She paused, taking in the moment. "Right, you never told me how Arthur defeated this dragon."

Merlin pulled back.

"What makes you think that he defeated it?"

* * *

Her main priority was her sister. He was after her. She needed to protect her.

Morgause marched down the hall, two blood guards on her heels.

She had always felt safe with the remaining blood guards. They were sworn to the high priestesses and Morgause had always been protected by them. They were like her, the last of their kind. Only a few come down with her when she left the North. Most of them had believes that they were safe.

She raised her hand to knock when she noticed voiced. She pressed her ear against the wood. She could just about hear but it was stifled

"He must have been amazing. I bet that was a sight to see." Morgana said.

"He died as we were returning to Camelot." A deeper voice said. "The only reason he left that cave was because I persuaded him." There was a pause. "He was my father. He died saving me."

"Oh Merlin I'm …"

Morgause pushed open the door. Merlin and Morgana both stood up. She looked between them.

"Seize him."


	16. Traitor

**Traitor**

"Arthur and I had to go and find this man. His name was Balinor. He was a dragonlord, the last of his kind. He was going to call him and stop him." Merlin explained

"He must have been amazing. I bet that was a sight to see." Morgana said.

"He died as we were returning to Camelot. The only reason he left that cave was because I persuaded him." He paused for a moment, trying to think of the right words. "He was my father. He died saving me."

"Oh Merlin I'm …"

The door suddenly opened and they both stood up. Merlin prepared himself for what was to come.

"Seize him."

"Wait, hang on." Morgana said as the guards walked forward and grabbed Merlin.

Morgause strode forward and took Morgana's hands. "Did he hurt you?"

"No." She shrieked. "We were just talking. He hasn't done anything wrong. He was explaining to me …" Morgana watched as Merlin tried to struggle out of the guards grip, forgetting what she was going to say. He had now trusted her with his secret. She couldn't allow Morgause to know it.

"Don't you remember what he did?" Morgause asked.

"And what about what you did?" She retorted.

The two sisters stared at each other.

"Do not believe his lies. I saved you from him and that tyrant." She said as she followed her guards out of the room.

"The Knights of Medhir, were they just going to kill Uther?" Morgana said as she followed them out. "If Arthur and Merlin didn't go and investigate, they would have been asleep as well and I would have been the only one awake. Why would that be? Would it have been my magic?"

"Morgana, I don't have time for this."

"Answer me. If anything I am question both the stories that you two have given me. I have told you that Merlin wouldn't have wanted to kill me because of my magic. He has now made me understand that more clearly. He … he has an understanding of how it is. His friend had magic."

Morgause carried on, ignoring her.

"Was I a vessel for a spell? Was it you that made him poison me?"

The older woman spun around. "I would never seek to hurt you. He would."

"Oh yes because when he had a few minutes alone with me, he took the opportunity to cut my throat open."

"A man can hurt you in more than one way."

Morgana tried to stare her down but Cenred came along.

"Why is my manservant being arrested?"

"Your manservant?" Morgause hissed.

"Lancelot, he is my new manservant after you killed the last one."

"I cannot believe it. I am in a castle full of idiots." Morgause pointed to Merlin. "That is Merlin."

"No that's Lancelot."

"How has he been?"

Morgana wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Rather good as I would expect. He used to work for Lord Hollomore."

"I saw Lord Hollomore just before his downfall. He was never in his service. You have hired Prince Arthur's own manservant."

Morgana watched as Merlin was dragged down the hall and Cenred and Morgause followed, fighting over who he was. She turned away and walked back to her chambers.

 _A man can hurt you in more than one way._

She could agree with Morgause when she said that. She had already been hurt by Merlin both physically with the poison and mentally with betrayal of his actions. It was going to take a while for her to forgive him and even longer for her to be able to trust him again.

As the morning turned to the afternoon, Morgana had come to realise that Merlin could have been telling her the truth about Morgause. Merlin had nothing to lose. He had already burnt all his bridges. He had no reason to lie to her. Why would he come so far if he was going to lie to her? Why would he go to all this trouble to lie to her?

Everything that he said made so much sense. It wasn't her magic because Merlin was as badly affected as Arthur. She knew Merlin wouldn't have done what he did without a reason. He wouldn't have wanted to hurt her either. She had thought over the nod that he gave her ever since she remembered it and now she thought that he thought that she knew what Morgause had done to her, it being confirmation that he had worked it out.

It was Morgause that had everything to lose. Morgana had put so much faith in her because she was the same as her and there was a familiarity that she couldn't work out. Realistically, if Morgause wanted to take down Camelot, Morgana would be an excellent addition to the team as she was in Uther's inner circle and she could get most things out of him. That's was why Morgause kept going on about Merlin's reasons being magic, because it was moving the focus off her. She was looking like the good guy in all of this.

Morgana wanted to laugh. Merlin had come here to rescue her. Now she would have to rescue him before they could escape.

This was her ticket back to Camelot. She had loved the time she had with Morgause because she had learnt so much about herself and her magic.

But Camelot would always be home, even though it would mean going back under Uther. Yet it didn't matter to Morgana. She would be back where she belonged and with Arthur and Gwen. She never realised how much she actually missed them.

She would have to be the one to come up with an escape plan. Firstly she would have to find out where the dungeons were, secondly how easy they are to get out of and then finally find a way of getting out of the city.

This is where Morgana wished they were back in Camelot. Camelot seemed to have the worst dungeons when it came to keeping people in. They had managed to break Mordred out easily enough and she had found it easy to break Alvarr out. She may have to bring that up when she got back. Or maybe it was best if they could easily breakout. How many times had Merlin been down there?

The thought of going home made her feel giddy and a wide smile placed itself on her face.


	17. The Horse

_We interrupt all the Mergana to see what Arthur has been up to since we last left him._

* * *

 **The Horse**

"My stupid father putting stupid guards to stop me getting to my stupid horse." Arthur muttered.

Walking seemed to be getting him nowhere and Arthur was sure at one point he was going around in circles. He was thankful that he had taken some coins with him when he left as he had managed to buy himself one.

He now wished that he didn't. There wasn't a great selection and Arthur had chosen the one that looked the strongest. But the horse, no matter how much you tried to encourage it, would not go anything faster than a trot. Arthur was sure he could walk quicker than what they were going at the moment.

He had even taken the time to try and train it because that is what Arthur believed was the problem. He knew it wasn't a horse that was breed to do long distances or run fast in a short space of time and hadn't had the luxury of a stable where they would be well kept. But there was nothing he could do to spur him on. It frustrated Arthur to no end.

He smiled as he recognised a path and followed it.

* * *

Hunith wiped her hand on the front of her dress before she answered the door.

"Arthur?" She said, shocked. "I'm sorry milord. Please come in."

"Hunith, it just Arthur. I am in your home." He corrected her as he entered. "I need your help."

"With what?"

Arthur licked his lips. "Have you seen Merlin?" He paused. "Just the idiot decided to up and leave because he felt guilty for something that I am sure was out of his … control."

She was so unsure of what she should say. The truth would be the easiest and the best but how much of it should she tell him?

"Yes I have. He left here about two weeks ago." She waited for Arthur to ask the questions rather than her tell him all the information at once.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"Essetir."

Arthur brow creased with confusion. "Why would he go there?"

Hunith realised she would have to give more away. "He happened to mention that he was looking for Morgana. I had overhead one of the woman talking. One of her daughters works in the castle and had happened to mention in a letter home, I don't know how because all the letter get read before they are sent, that Cenred had guest and one was a blonde haired woman. Obviously it didn't mean anything to me but Merlin said that it could be … Morgause, I think that was the name he said."

Arthur wants to know everything that she knows. He wants to know if she knew what he had done and why he did it. He must have had a reason. It was weird but Merlin always seem like he was one step ahead, like he knew something that no one else knew in that moment. Arthur was still confused over the events that happened that day, especially how quickly the sleeping spell wore off. But he didn't know why it did.

He knows that Hunith wouldn't want to tell him. That was why he had to ask questions for her to give him the information.

"There isn't any chance that you happen to have a better horse or a job for the horse that I have got?"

Hunith wasn't prepared for that question. She had prepared herself for him to ask what Merlin had done and maybe why he had decided to go out on this quest on his own. Not a question about a horse.

"I still have the one that your father gave me to get back to Ealdor when Kanen attacked. Mador, one of the farmers, has tried to use him but he says he is too strong and fast."

"Then the one I have sounds perfect for him."

* * *

Arthur was happier now he had a horse that he knew he could ride properly and knew that he would get to Essetir within a day easily. He didn't know what he was going to do when he reached Essetir but he knew that he should keep his head low and use a different name. Maybe Lancelot.

He could get work in the castle, hopefully as a stable hand. He thinks that he could do a job like that. Any other work, he was sure he would struggle with. He remembers the time when he told he would cook Gwen dinner. He had no idea of where to start. It probably wasn't best to lie and get Merlin to bring food from the palace but he didn't want to harm her.

Arthur always felt giddy when he thought of Gwen. She was a real asset to Camelot. He would ask for her hand in marriage and he was sure that she would say yes but she was just a servant. His father would never agree to their marriage. It would be deemed wrong.

He picked up the quill and parchment that Hunith had lent him. He was quite surprised when she said that she had got some but Arthur later realised that he should have. Merlin could write and she must have taught him. Where she had learnt, Arthur didn't know.

 _My dearest Gwen._ He started to write.

 _Managed to make it to Ealdor alright. Forgot my way a bit. When I bring Merlin back please don't tell him that I said that. I will never hear the end of it. Hunith has been very helpful. Merlin was with her not two weeks ago and she said that he had gone to Essetir because he believes that Moraguse is there, so then thinks that Morgana is there. I feel as though I am so close to finding them but I know that this is only the beginning of my quest. If Morgause is there then she would be able to spot Merlin from a mile off. I am probably going to turn up to his execution aren't I? He is such an idiot sometimes._

 _I hope that you are well and that everything is still running smoothly in Camelot. I hope my father isn't too angry and doesn't know you part in my disappearance._

 _I have thought of you often and there have been times when I wish that I brought you with me. It would have been nice to have a companion for this trip._

 _I managed to buy a horse but I wished that I didn't. I have always grown up around horses that are trained for Warcraft. This horse wouldn't go faster than a trot. It was so frustrating. Hunith has swapped him for the horse that she rode back to Eadlor. One that I am sure will get me to Essetir in no time at all._

 _Hope to see you soon._

 _With all my love_

 _Arthur._

Arthur smiled down at the letter before folding it up and dropping wax on it. Hunith had told him that many people for Ealdor go to trade in Camelot because they can get more for their goods. He was going to give the letter to one of these trades to give to Gwen. He just hoped that it would get to her.


	18. Do You Mean It?

_Back to Essetir_

* * *

 **Do You Mean It?**

"I don't need babysitting!" Morgana shouted.

"You will do as I say. You will be escorted every time you leave your chambers. You will have guards outside at all times."

"Who else is going to want to come into the castle? Uther would make sure that Arthur only goes on patrols. He does as his father asks."

"Then why does Uther have patrols out looking for him?"

Morgana stopped. _He definitely isn't his father._

"You are safer with me." Morgause said, her voice softening. "In Camelot, you would be killed because of your powers."

Morgana shook her head. "Uther promised my father that he would look after me. I doubt he would kill me."

"Even so we don't have to put him in that position. Here you are free. You can be the person you are meant to be."

 _Maybe I just want to go home._ She thought but never voiced.

* * *

It had been a few days since Morgana had seen Merlin and in that time she had found her guard to be very gullible. It was also useful that she could lose him once they entered the library. He would just suspect that she was in there and go and look through the large collection of books.

It was the third day on the trot that they had gone to the library and Morgana had managed to give him the slip and was on her way to the dungeon. It would be a couple of hours before he would even start to look for her.

* * *

Morgana could have laughed at how bad Essetir's dungeons were. Camelot's dungeons were better guarded than theirs was. She could also tell that they were a lot dirtier and had mould growing on the walls. She was sure not many people would want to be down here long.

Each cell had a different amount of people in, ranging from 7 to 20 people. The cells were small and they look crammed in there. Morgana's heart went out to them but she knew there was very little that she could do to help them.

She almost walked past Merlin's cell as it was only him in there.

"Morgana?" His voice sounded hoarse.

She turned around and peered into his cell, her hands closing around the bars.

"Merlin."

She heard chains rattle and the shuffle of his feet before he came into the small amount of light that fell into his cell. He sat back down and lent against the bars that he shared with the cell next door.

"I hope you don't mind."

Morgana shook her head. "Not at all."

His eye was starting to blacken and blood was pouring out of a cut on his cheek. By the way that he was sitting, she could tell that he was in more pain than he would like to admit in front of her.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you? Everything you told me was true."

Merlin looked up at her. "Yes. I have nothing to lose, why would I tell you more lies?"

"I just wanted to confirm that."

He rubbed his hands together, causing the shackles to jingle. "I will never lie to you again. You deserve more than that. I owe you more than that. I love you too much for that. I should have helped you. I should have been there for you. I should have never let Morgause get too close to you." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I should have never let you go."

Morgana's lips turned up into a smile. "You love me."

He stopped moving and tensed up. "I … I … I never … It didn't mean to … What I mean."

She giggled and crouched down to his level.

"I should have notice." She waited for him to turn to her before she carried on. "I should have realised every time you brought me flowers. I should have realised when you created a distraction when I wanted to stay with the druids. I shouldn't have fallen for you as well."

Merlin opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"Don't worry. I am pretty sure nearly every woman in Camelot has fallen head over heels for you at some point."

"I should have helped you. I should have been … been by your side. I shouldn't have been an idiot. I shouldn't have pushed you away."

Morgana knelt down and placed her forehead on the bars.

"We shouldn't talk about the things we should have done. They are in the past. They cannot be changed."

"Yes they can. We can start by changing them now. I want you to be safe. I want you to know who you are as well. I want you to explore your magic. I want you to … I want you." Merlin shook his head and took his gaze off her, back to the floor. "But it is something I can never have."

Morgana was surprised by his confession. She had been surprised when he said that he loved her. But the fact that he wanted her, as she wanted him, was a complete shook. She just thought that her crush on him was going to be a short lived thing. It had started when he brought Mordred into her care.

But could she give him her heart?

Even though she now knew his reasons for poisoning her, it still hurt her dearly that he had done that. She knew that it would be a long time yet before she could trust him but could they do this?

No, Uther would never allow a servant to marry her but then she had started to notice the looks that Arthur and Gwen gave each other. Arthur would never be able to marry her as long as Uther is alive, but afterwards … that was anyone's guess.

"Do you mean it?" She whispered.

He turned back to her. The look he gave her was one of affection. He gave a few short nods before returning to the position he was in.

Morgana reached through the bars and cupped his cheek, turning him back towards her. She stroked his cheek before pulling him towards her and planting a kiss on his lips.


	19. Happy

**Happy**

The chains rattled as the guard delivered his blow. Merlin grunted in discomfort but then remembered what happened between him and Morgana and started to smile again.

"What you smiling at?" The guard said, grabbed Merlin's face. "You have nothing to smile about, sunshine. Morgause wants to make sure that you pay for what you did to Morgana."

"What I did to Morgana?" Merlin said, not helping himself. "It was Morgause actions that made me poison her."

The guard's hand fell from his face to his neck. "That isn't all that Morgause wants."

Merlin was relieved when the guard took his hand away and walked to the table. He knew that he shouldn't but he wanted to know what was coming and hoped that the guard was stupid enough to give him the right answers.

"Oh, right. What else does she want?"

The guard gripped the table before he looked over the table. He picked something up and turned. Merlin wished he could see what it was but he was just out of the small amount of light that lit the chamber.

"You will find out. Isn't that the fun of it?"

Merlin laughed nervously. "Suppose that is what she wants. You're breaking me so her job is easier."

The guard flicked his wrist and the whip in his hand cracked. "Yep and you really should have shut up a while ago."

Merlin gulped and hoped that the memory of the kiss would keep his spirits high.

* * *

Morgana smiled as she read her book. She felt better now that she had the wind in her hair and grass beneath her. She had found a secluded spot, still within the castle's walls, that was perfect to spend the day reading.

She looked over her shoulder and saw that her guard was doing exactly the same as her. She was quite glad that she had him, not that he would give her his name. He was quite pleasant to talk to and shared the same taste in books. He liked the fact that Morgana would spend the whole day in the library reading. Morgana suspected that he was only a guard because he didn't want to be a knight.

It was a beautiful day and Morgana only had one thought on her mind, the kiss she gave Merlin.

Part of her didn't understand why she did it but at that moment, it just seemed right. She wasn't wrong when she said that most of the woman in Camelot had fallen for him at one point. She would watch as the younger handmaids swooned over him when he passed and gave them a smile. His kind nature and boyish good looks didn't help him.

Morgana didn't fall for them immediately because she had a thing for Arthur, which she doesn't understand. She thinks it was because she thought that was expected of her. To be Arthur's queen. She would wish the poor girl good luck. It was when he came crashing into her room with Mordred, saying that he didn't know where to go or what to do.

 _I want you. But it is something I can never have._ Merlin's words struck something in her and she knew that it was stupid the nobility's way of joining families. It should be love rather than strengthening some alliance. Morgana feared for the day that Uther would marry her off. She had been eligible to marry for a while now. It was only a matter of time before he would have.

Morgana sighed heavily and went back to her book. She needed to get out of Essetir first to see what Uther had planned for her.

* * *

"Something's not right." Morgause said tapping on the table.

"I will agree with you. Your sister has gone from arguing with you to … well, being the happiest I have seen her."

"Exactly." She said without thinking. She turned to him. "Wait you have noticed that too?"

"I may act like a fool sometimes but I do know what I am doing."

She leant back in her seat. "I believe that she … I am scared that she has believed the serving boy. I have no idea what he told her but …" She groaned with frustration. "I wish I knew more about him. I wish I knew how he knew to destroy the spell."

"Maybe it might be best to tell Morgana who you are to her. Your blood guards will take a while to break him. Try getting her back on your side."

Morgause shook her head. "I fear that I have already lost her."

* * *

It wasn't often that Gwen got the chance to look through the stalls that traded in Camelot and today was one of those rare occasions where she could. She took her time as she went from stall to stall.

"Hello mam, I am just wondering if you were from the castle."

Gwen turned to the trader and smiled. "Yes I work there."

He went round the back and came back with a folded up piece of paper. "Was given this back in Eadlor. Was told to give to Guinevere. Would you get it to her please?"

Gwen smiled as he handed over the letter. "Of course. I will make sure it gets to her."

She giggled as she left the stalls and walked the short distance home.

* * *

As soon as she had closed the door, she broke the wax and read its contents.

She was glad that he had made it to Ealdor and that she knew where he was going but Gwen was concerned. The Prince of Camelot in Essetir. Something about that just didn't sit right with her. She would hear things as she would walk down the corridors and it seemed like Cenred was looking for a reason to go to war with Camelot. This would give him the perfect opportunity.

For a man that could inspire an army, he was not very good with words. Well when it came to words of love. But it was there. Gwen could see what he wanted to put. Maybe he was worried that it would fall into the wrong hands. After all, the trader could have asked anyone to give it to her. It could have just been a coincidence that he gave it to her. It could have just been lucky timing.

She smiled at it anyway. She wouldn't want to keep him back. He is a born hero. He lives for adventure. And that was what this mission was. An adventure.


	20. The Escape

_Guys ..._

 _This is Chapter 20 ..._

 _of 30 ..._

 _It means that there is only 10 chapters left of this story ..._

 _I am just going to leave that with you._

* * *

 **The Escape**

"You have been coming down here too often. Morgause will get suspicious."

"Let her. We won't be here much longer."

"I wished you had told me about Arthur earlier."

"Sorry." Morgana said, giving him a small smile. "We were too busy making our escape plans that I forgot."

"I just wonder where he has gone. If he has gone to Ealdor, my mother may have told him that I went to Essetir. It depends when he left to when he could be here. Hopefully we will meet him on the road."

"Let's hope. He would ruin our plan."

Merlin chuckled. "Oh would he."

"Are you sure you want to do it tonight." Morgana asked. "It is the knighting ceremony. There are all going to be there."

"I know but I don't know how much more of this I can take. There will be no one in the castle so I will be able to get out easy enough. I have an idea of how it is going to work. Hopefully everything will go to plan."

"I cannot help but worry."

Merlin took her hand through the bars. "If it was indoors, you would still be with Morgause. I would still have to get you away from her. We have more room because it is outside. It will work, trust me."

Morgana hesitated.

"Maybe trust me wasn't the right words. It will work. Okay? We will go home."

She smiled. "Of course."

"You're not having second thoughts are you?"

"No just … I don't want you to get hurt." She squeezed his hand.

"Everything will be fine."

* * *

Morgana stood with her back up straight and her shoulders back. Her hands were clasped in front of her and she had a dark blue dress on, hugging her figure.

Everything was set. She had ridden out into the forest earlier to place the supplies she had collected in a hollowed out tree. She knew when she was meant to give the signal and how she was going to do it.

They were outside due to the sheer number of new knights. Cenred had quickly built up his army and Morgana knew that she would alert Uther to that once they were back in Camelot. They stood there, all lined up. They stood side by side, shoulders touching. It went five rows back and each rows had about 15 newly qualified knights.

They had to be patience for now. Timing was everything.

* * *

Merlin stood on tiptoes as looked for the glows of the fires that surrounded the knighting ceremony. The window was high up and he was glad that he was quite tall. He could just see them.

It was an awkward position but Merlin stayed there, even when his calves started to cramp. He had to see the signal. It was only going to be a small one but just lowering for a second could mean that he would miss it.

Suddenly all the flames went out and then relit. That's was it. The signal.

Merlin hit his shackles against the wall. The hinges gave way and broke. He had been damaging them since the moment he got down there. He was glad that they didn't take too much to break them.

He turned to the door and whispered a spell before running through the now open door. There were no guards about and Merlin quickly found his way into the main part of the castle. Everything that had happened to him in the dungeons was finally hitting and Merlin found his legs to weigh the same as stone.

But he still pressed on, breathing through the pain.

It took him a while to reach Morgana's room but once he did, he quickly found the knife that she had left for him.

It was time for the next part of their plan.

* * *

Morgana tried to cover up the spell by coughing. She could see that Morgause was suspicious of it but didn't do anything about it. She didn't call any guards to make sure anyone everything was fine down in the dungeons. It gave Morgana a false sense of security and she knew it.

She was luck that she was closer to the castle and more to one side. She hoped that everything would work out.

She didn't mean to but she screamed as Merlin pulled her back, his arm going around her waist. Morgause's head whipped round and he held up the knife that he had to Morgana's neck.

"There is nothing you can do Morgause. Let's see how much you do care about her."

He started to walk back when he heard a shout of his name.

* * *

Arthur had never visited Essetir before. Cenred would always wish that any peace talks were on the border. Maybe so they would never see the state that it was in.

He could see children raiding the bins, trying to find anything to eat. Dogs were roaming the streets, fleas visible and looking as though they didn't have long. One woman had even thrown herself at him and said that she would give him a night that he would never forget and never relive.

Essetir was in a state and it made Arthur feel sick. If they were his people, he would do anything to try and help them but it seemed like Cenred had forgotten that they were there.

He kept walking through the streets and came to a big group of people. He stood on tiptoes and saw that Cenred was knighting soldiers. Arthur had never seen so many people be knighted at the same time and knew that it might have be something to watch.

His eye followed the steps up to where Morgause and Morgana were.

He smiled at the sight of her and started to walk around the edge of the crowd, hoping to get close enough that she would notice him.

He keeps his eye on them and starts to push through the people as Merlin appeared and put a knife to Morgana's throat. Whatever had happened here had made Merlin crazy and Arthur had to stop him before he did something stupid.

"Merlin!" He called out.

* * *

Merlin loosened his grip as he turned to see Arthur. He quickly turned back and was thrown to the floor by a spell.

"A petty plan which would have worked." Morgause said as she stood over him. "Take him back to his cell and take the Prince of Camelot as well."

Merlin turned to see Arthur being restrained by two guards.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" He heard Morgause say.

Next thing he knew, Morgana was crouching down next to him. "Are you alright?" The concern in her eyes made him smile.

"Will be."

"Take them all."

* * *

Morgana was placed into the cell as Merlin and Arthur were pushed roughly into theirs. Merlin's adrenaline rush had passed and he fell to the floor, rolling due to the force used.

Morgause waited for the guards to leave before she spoke.

"I am disappointed Morgana. After what I saved you from, I would have expected you to try and run off with the man that did that to you. You brought this on yourself."

Merlin stood up and saw Morgana's reaction to her words. Morgause was the first person to openly accept her magic and he guessed that it must have hurt for her to say those things.

He waited for Morgause footsteps to disappear before he turned to Arthur.

"You idiot!"


	21. What Are You Doing Here?

**What Are You Doing Here?**

"You idiot!" Merlin shouted at Arthur.

"You had her at knife point." Arthur said.

"And that was part of our plan."

"What?"

Merlin sighed heavily and Morgana took over. "The plan was for Merlin to break out of his cell before coming up top. At that point he would have the knife to look as though he was going to … apprehend me, harm me. I didn't mean to scream but it was a natural reaction but we knew how to deal with Morgause." She turned to Merlin. "And you said that he wouldn't be here."

"I think I said I hope that we met him on the road."

"That is saying that he wouldn't be here."

Merlin walked over to the wall and slide down it.

"Are you alright?" Morgana asked him again.

He looked up at her. "Not at the moment but I will get there."

"Do you think …" She started but let the question hang in the air.

"I hope not. I cannot take it if she did."

"Take what?" Arthur asked, looking a little red faced about the situation but also confused.

Merlin's eyes flicked to Morgana before going back to Arthur. He wetted his lips before he spoke. "Morgause has been torturing me. I hoped that today would be the end of it."

"It was the main reason why we were escaping." Morgana added.

"No, you need to get out of Essetir, that's why we were escaping."

"We will have to disagree to agree."

Morgana started to smile when Merlin did.

Arthur felt awful. This was probably a plan that they had carefully calculated and their only opportunity and he had blown it for them. It made his blood boil at the fact that Morgause had tortured Merlin and it was only now that he could see the damage she had done. His left eye was starting to blacken and the cuts along his cheek must have either been from knuckle dusters or rings. Not only that but he was thinner than when he left Camelot and his cheeks had started to hollow out.

But it was their friendship that worried him slightly. They seemed close but Arthur would expect there to be some hostility between them after it seemed like Merlin did a bad thing. Maybe Merlin had already made it up to her?

"What are you doing here?"

Arthur turned to Merlin. "I came to find you both. The patrols are no closer to finding Morgana than when they started." He paused and sighed. "I have a new manservant. His name is George and he is duller than Geoffrey is when you get him on about the great houses of Camelot."

Morgana grimaced. "That bad?"

Arthur nodded. "He makes jokes about brass and they aren't even very good ones. I need you back Merlin. You may be useless but you will do for now, till a better servant comes along."

Merlin shook his head at the ground. "My mother told you where I went."

"She didn't give up the information easily. I didn't ask her about the letter. I thought that might be best to ask you in person."

It had been a while since he wrote them that Merlin had forgotten the contents of them. "Like?" He asked.

"Like what you did? You said, and I quote 'I had to do a terrible thing and I cannot allow the guilt of my action consume me. I have left to find out if Morgana is still alive and if she is, I will try my best to bring her home.' I have reread it so many times I could tell you every word right now."

Morgana copied Merlin's earlier action and sat down on the floor. "You asked Morgause to save me. Did you not believe that she would?"

Merlin didn't know who's question to answer first. He turned his attention to Arthur.

"I said that Morgana was a vessel for a spell. It had to be destroyed for the spell to wear off. I put … I put poison in the water skin and tricked Morgana into drinking it." He turned to Morgana. "And it wasn't that I didn't think that she wouldn't save you. It was more if she could save you. Not her magical ability but whether it was too late for you." He sighed and turned back to Arthur. "You should get some sleep. It is a long walk from Ealdor to Essetir."

"I didn't walk it though I had a horse that I swapped."

"Well we all need sleep. It has been a long day."

Arthur nodded before lying down and closing his eyes. His last thought being when was Merlin put in charge.

* * *

Merlin waited for Arthur soft snores before he scooted over to Morgana. He reached through the bars for her hand.

"It will be okay."

"We tried to escape." She said, stroking the back of his hand. "What happens if she becomes more aggressive? You could only just deal with what she was giving you beforehand. Now you have me and Arthur to worry about as well now."

"Everything will be fine. We will make it work."

"I am guessing that you are going to telling him everything."

"No, he will know what he needs to know, like you found out what you needed to know."

She placed her head against the bars. "Sleep isn't going to come as easy tonight as it has been."

"I am here."

"That shouldn't feel as reassuring as it is."

"I cannot erase the past but I can try and make the future better. We will have to start from square one again."

"And with a plan to get us out of here."

Merlin gave her hand a squeeze. "I will think of that. Don't you worry yourself about that. I will get us out of here, no matter what I have to do." He turned to looking at Arthur's sleeping form. "Or reveal." He continued.


	22. Son

_Now the begin of this might look similar to some people. That was because I accidentally posted this as the last chapter before very quickly realising and changing it to the right one._

 _Sorry about that._

 _Anyway on to Chapter 22_

* * *

 **Son**

Uther sat in his study, papers laid out in front of him, staring out of the window. It had been just over two months since he last saw Morgana and just over two weeks since he saw Arthur. Both of his children not by his side. He had tried not to think about it but it was becoming more difficult.

A knock at the door snapped him out of his dreamlike state.

"Enter."

Sir Leon walked into the room. Uther had always liked him. His father had been a good man and friend over the years, always offering good advice. Leon was like his father in most ways. He was kind and loyal to Camelot. When Arthur became king, Uther hoped that he would choose Leon for his commander. He wouldn't fail him.

"Sir Leon, any news?"

Leon cleared his throat. He could see the desperation in the king's eyes for there to be some good news.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is still nothing. We lost the scent just outside of Lindow."

He watched as Uther just nodded.

"Get some rest. You must be tired."

Leon wanted to give him some comfort but he didn't know what to say. He gave a short bow before retiring to his chambers.

Uther lent forward, placing his elbows on the desk and his face in his hands. He didn't know whether to scream or cry. It was his fault. He should have never allowed Arthur to pick up Morgause's gauntlet. She should have never got into the castle in the first place. Everything had gone wrong since she showed up. And it didn't help that he thought the child was dead.

He could remember Gorlois' face on the day he told was told by Vivienne. He was so happy and couldn't wait to tell him. It only made him want a child of his own badly. But Ygraine was barren and it wasn't meant to be. His greed is what killed her, not magic. It was easier to blame magic when it first happened all those years ago. Uther was caught up in his own grief.

But then what he did with Vivienne was just as bad. She was his best friend's wife and he had bedded her. Uther could have said that she didn't stop him but he should have been more of a gentleman to know that it was wrong.

Uther folded his arms and placed his head on the desk.

* * *

Gwen walked into Uther's study, with wine in one hand and a plate full of food in the other. He hadn't been eating properly ever since Arthur left and she worried about him. Only really for Arthur's sake, she knew what it was like to be an orphan.

She saw Uther with his head on the desk. He had been beating himself up about what happened but the Pendragon's were the most stubborn people she had ever met. If they want to do something, they were going to do it.

Gwen walked over to the table and placed the food and drink down. She went to walk out when Uther spoke.

"What is this?"

She turned around. "Food milord. You haven't eaten today and I thought it would be best to bring you something."

"Take it away. I don't want it."

Gwen should have held her tongue. "It isn't matter if you want it, you need it. How do you expect your men to keep going when you are closed up in here all day, every day? Arthur wouldn't have wanted you to be like this."

Uther raised his eyes to her.

"I am sorry milord. I have forgotten myself."

He sat up properly and pulled the plate of food in front of him. "No, you are right. Arthur wouldn't want me to wallow in my self-pity."

Gwen bowed as she left the room.

* * *

"I know where Arthur is heading."

Gaius turned around to Gwen.

"Of course you would. You helped him out."

"And you are still angry about that. Do you want to know or not?"

Gaius shrugged. "Does it make a difference to me?"

"You can tell the King, say that you heard it through a patient. He is miserable Gaius. As much as I dislike the man, he shouldn't be miserable."

Gaius sighed before nodding. "I cannot believe I am getting involved in this."

* * *

"Essetir? Why there?"

"The patient seems to think that he heard that Morgause was there and therefore Morgana." Gaius explained. "However I would advise against sending men towards Essetir."

"Why not?" Uther said.

Gwen nibbled on the skin around her thumb.

"The alliance between Camelot and Essetir is fragile. If Cenred is building up his army then he is looking for war. You know what sort of a man Cenred is. He cares little for his own people and more for war. He wants this."

"Thank you for bring this information to me."

* * *

Gwen paced in her house. A part of her believed that she shouldn't have done what she did but as she said, Uther was miserable. It wasn't fair for her to have the information she did and not tell anyone about it.

At least they weren't on a wild goose chase now. Uther planned to send all the patrols to the border. Not all at the same time as that would cause suspicion but enough to look as though they knew there was something up in Essetir.

Arthur had trusted her with that information though but then again there was very little that anyone could do now anyway. He had already crossed the border and was well on his way there now. He could even be there. If he was there, Gwen hoped that he was safe and that one of Cenred's men hadn't recognised him.

It would be a while until she got another note from him, if she got another at all. It was mainly a waiting game now. Waiting to see if all this searching was worth it.


	23. The Trick

_Okay I am mixing things up a bit._

 _As I have finished writing this story, I will be updating 3 times a week. This will be the same for any story that I have finished writing._

 _I hope you enjoy._

* * *

 **The Trick**

Morgause walked down the halls, her blood guard only millimetres away from her. Arthur's presence in Essetir had made her on edge. It was as if Uther Pendragon was breathing down their necks. Cenred had told her that everything would be fine. He was in a cell. There was very little he could do from there.

But then there was the reason Arthur was there. Merlin had been alone all this time. Was Arthur with him or had the Prince been out looking for his manservant? Maybe he thought he could do what Merlin had done and find Morgana by himself.

She laughed at how many patrols left Camelot just to come back empty handed. They were never going to find them.

Morgause pushed open the doors to the council room.

"Why?" She asked.

Cenred lifted his head from his hands and looked at her. "Why what?"

"Why now? Why here? Why did he leave Camelot?"

He sighed. "You still believe that there is a reason for Arthur being here."

"Why else would he be here?"

"Morgause, there have been rumours that Morgana was here. Sir Bediwg just told me that one of the servants has been saying that you are here. If you are here then there was a likelihood that Morgana was here as well. You were the one to bring her to safety."

"But what if he was Uther's spy? What if he was sent to see what was happening? We have been making a bit of noise recently."

Cenred got up and walked over to her. "Then let him spy. He cannot see much from where he is at the moment."

"He saw the knighting ceremony. That is enough proof that you want war."

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "But how is he going to tell anyone? Morgause for an intelligent woman, sometimes you can speak some rubbish. We have the heir to Camelot's throne in my dungeon. We are the ones that can dictate how the game is played, not Uther for once."

"You cannot knock me for being cautious."

"And I am not but we are in a better position. Not only do we have his ward but his son as well."

Morgause shrugged off his hands and walked towards one of the windows. "Do you know what would be even better?"

Cenred shrugged but then realising that she wouldn't have seen it, replied with "No."

"If we had a spy inside of Camelot's walls. I was going to use my sister but I just think I am going to have to win her back."

"How?" He asked.

She turned to him. "I am going to take your advice. I am going to tell her who I am."

* * *

Morgause paced her room. It was something that she had to do and probably should have done before Merlin arrived. She should have told Morgana that she was her sister. But she had little idea of how she would have taken it.

Morgana had obviously just thought that she was an only child. To tell someone that thinks they are the last of the line that there is someone else would come to a massive shock. Morgause was waiting for Morgana to fully recover from the poison before she said anything.

Then there was a part of Morgause that would have expected her to have realised the crest on the healing bracelet that she left her. Only they could wear their father's crest. Unless it had been a long time since Morgana saw it. She was ten when he died.

But then that infuriated Morgause. Had Uther tried to make her forget where she came from? Had Morgana been back to Tingel since being in his care? Does she visit their father's grave? Does she even know where their mother is buried?

These things worried her. Morgana should know about these things. It had taken her a few years to find where their mother was buried and Morgause had spent a lot of time there, mainly asking why she was given away.

It was common knowledge to Morgause that she was given up at birth but the reasons for it was a mystery to everyone. She had hoped to try and ask Gaius but then she noticed that he was close to Uther. Whether the old physician would say something or not worried Morgause that she knew that it was going to be a question that she would take to the grave, unanswered.

Morgause sighed as she sat down on the bed. The longer she left it, the lesser the likelihood she was ever going to say something. The thought of having a younger sister filled Morgause with joy and she hoped that Morgana would feel the same.

But doubt filled her mind. She hated her, she had to. Morgause had never expected anyone to work it out. She had expected to walk into Camelot with no resistance and kill Uther. She didn't expect it to go as wrong as it did. She was trying to stop bloodshed. The Knights of Medhir would have killed anything in their path. Morgause was hoping to keep the numbers low. It wasn't the people or the knights that orders the deaths of sorcerers, it was Uther.

Morgause stood up and quickly changed. She couldn't go down to the dungeons with what she had on. It was one of her favourite dresses and she didn't want it to be ruined.

There was no better time like the present and she needed to see if she could redeem herself with Morgana. It broke her heart to think that she thought so little of her. Morgause did care about her. Camelot was no place for someone with magic and under Uther's nose was the worst place to be. Any sorcerer would be mental to live with the same man that would sign your death certificate without a second thought.

But then would he sign Morgana's? He had promised their father that he would look after her.

Morgause pulled open the door to her chambers and stormed down the hall. It was time to find out if she could redeem herself with Morgana or not.


	24. Are You On My Side?

**Are You On My Side?**

Merlin sat with his eyes shut. He wanted to sleep but couldn't due to Arthur pacing the cell. He could hear him scuffing his feet along the floor, kicking up the straw as he went.

"Please stop that." Merlin nearly growled.

"Aren't you worried? We haven't seen anyone since we have been down here expect to give us food. I want to know what they are planning."

Merlin opened his eyes and could see that Morgana was as annoyed as he was. "If Morgause wants you to know something then she will allow you to know it."

"I still don't like it." Arthur grumbled, turning to take another length of the cell.

"For pity's sake Arthur, sit down." Morgana shouted.

The Prince stopped and looked at her before doing as she said.

"Thank you." She said.

None of them spoke and the cell filled with an eerie silence.

"Please someone say something or I will start pacing again."

"I will speak then."

Arthur and Morgana jumped up at Morgause's voice while Merlin just turned his head.

"Not joining them Merlin."

He shook his head before looking back down at the floor. She was here for a reason and he knew that it had to be about getting Morgana back on their side. But there was no way that was going happen now. They needed someone on the outside. They needed someone to help to get them out. Even if that person was him.

Morgause continued to speak. "There was more to my visit in Camelot than just to challenge you, Arthur. When the Isle of the Blessed was attacked by Uther, all the children were moved north to try and spare them from the bloodshed. We lost people along the way but less than if we stayed on the Isle. The only reason I travelled south was because I wanted to find out where I had come from. All that I had of my family was the healing bracelet I left Morgana."

Merlin wanted to groan. How could he have missed it? He knew there was a reason to why Morgause wanted Morgana on her side so badly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Arthur asked.

Morgause turned to Morgana and she would tell that she was trying to mull over what was just said. "I visited my mother's grave and from there I was told I had a sister." Morgause paused for a second. "My sister is the ward to Uther Pendragon."

Merlin looked at Morgana to see how she was taking the information. She was just shaking her head over and over.

"My father would have told me if I had a sister."

"Maybe he was going to before he died. You were only young."

"But we told each other everything. He would have told me."

"I'm sure that our father wouldn't have wanted to keep it from you. But I need to know something. Everything I did was because I want you to be safe. I love you Morgana and the last few months have shown me how much I missed not having a sister. Everything I did was out of love. I need you on my side. Please come back."

Morgana turned and looked at Merlin. A part of her told her that she should take up the offer then she could get word to Camelot and they could try and escape. But then that plan could fall through again and Morgana wasn't sure if just her word alone would be able to convince Morgause that she was on her side. What if she put her under some sort of spell that would mean that she was under her power? Not that she knew of the spell that could but then again, Morgana didn't know any spells.

But Merlin. Merlin wouldn't be able to convince her but maybe his magic could be strong enough to counter any spell up over him or he might know a spell that could make sure he stayed safe. She knew that he would know that this was the perfect opportunity and he could be like he is in Camelot, the secret saviour. He could get information as easy as Morgana would.

She started to shake her head. "If you cared about me like you say you do then you would never have put me in a position that I could die. You would have told me your whole plan and we could have gone through it as equals. You used me."

Morgause opened her mouth but she continued.

"I would never join you, not after that. You should have trusted me."

Merlin was impressed by what she said and realised that she was passing the opportunity to him. He could see why. Morgause was an enchantress. Maybe she thought that her word wouldn't be enough. Merlin knew that he was meant to be the strongest warlock to walk the earth but he had no idea how powerful that was. Would his magic stop him from going under simple spells?

He watched Morgause turn to leave before he jumped up and ran to the bars.

"I will."

"Merlin!" Arthur said through his teeth.

"I will do it. I will join you."

Morgause turned back around.

"Your Prince came looking for you and this is how you repay him. In betrayal."

The words felt heavy in his mouth but he said them anyway. "I betrayed Morgana, why not all the nobles in Camelot? They treat people like you awfully. I know that magic is a gift rather than a curse. I have seen people being killed just because of something they cannot help. Being in Essetir has made me realise how I have been treated in Camelot. In Camelot I am run into the ground and treated like dirt when made to think I am an equal. Here at least everyone knows there place."

Morgause blinked at him for a few moments before nodded to the guard to open the cell to get him out. There could be some truth in what he was saying but she had to err on the side of caution. She knew that he would do a good enough job. He had been here under her nose for a while before he was caught. He also would know Camelot well enough. But Morgause had a way to make sure that what he was saying was true.

Arthur stood there flabbergasted as Merlin walked causally behind Morgause while Morgana hoped that it was the right thing to do.


	25. Torture

**Torture**

Merlin continued to follow Morgause, getting more and more worried with each step. He hadn't been to this side of the castle before and he had little idea about what was there. They passed empty room upon empty room. This part of the castle was obviously not used.

"It is part of the old castle." Morgause explained, like she read his thoughts. "It was deserted when the new part was added with bigger chambers. It was used for servants but Cenred believed that they were too elegant for them. I get what he means because this is where the privilege once lived."

Merlin nodded until he realised that she couldn't see him. "So why are we down here?"

"Oh you will find out soon enough."

He could feel his palms get clammier with every step. She had something planned and Merlin had no idea what it could be. This was when he wished that Gaius took more of an active role in his magical studies than just giving him a book and the odd word of advice. Morgause knew all the secrets of the old religion. He could only wish to know the knowledge she had, which when being Emrys and the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth, seemed very strange. He would have to go back to Isle if and when they made it out.

Morgause stopped and turned around. She nodded her head towards the door and the two guards, which were behind Merlin, pushed him into the open door.

"I hope you like your little surprise."

The last thing that Merlin saw was her smile before the door shut on him.

He took a few deep breaths before taking in the room. There was a large four poster bed in the middle of the room, with a desk just beside it, facing the window. A large fireplace was the main centre piece. The stone around it had been carved to bring two dragons to life. Merlin was sure that if the fire was lit, it would dance in the gems in their eyes.

He shivered as a draft came through. He waited for whatever was meant to happen to happen. Ever second that passed gave Merlin a false sense of security. He started to believe that everything would be okay.

"Merlin?"

He turned around to see Morgana stood there. The blue glow coming off her showed that she wasn't there. She couldn't have been there anyway. He had left her in that cell.

"You aren't real. You are an illusion."

Her face turned from a soft smile to a smirk. "My, my Merlin. You are clever for a servant aren't you? Because that is all you are and all you will be a servant."

Merlin could feel something trying to probe his mind but he tried to brush it away. "I don't mind being a servant. It is a simple life."

She walked up to him and pushed him to his knees. "If you are a servant, then act like one. You are worthless. You should worship me."

He leant forward to bow down to her, closing his eyes at the same time. He waited for her to say something else. He opened his eyes when nothing had been said and saw that the illusion had been broken.

He placed his hands on the floor to push himself up but quickly retracted at the cold slime that coated the floor. He turned his hand palm up and saw the black stuff they were covered in. he managed to get up without using his hands but couldn't understand how he hadn't noticed the floor. His trousers, from his knees, also had it on them. He tried wiping his hands on his thighs but it wouldn't come off.

Whatever this stuff was, it wasn't good.

* * *

The illusions came and went. They seemed to play on his biggest fears. Arthur had almost killed him after he had found out about Merlin's magic. Uther had accused him of enchanting the whole castle and he was going to be burnt to death. Gwen had also found out about his magic but was more worried that he didn't trust her enough to tell her. Morgana had even come back for a second go, telling him that she didn't love him and that it was all an act.

Every time there was a new illusion, the magic tried to get into his mind to mould it but something stopped it. Merlin had no idea that his magic was that powerful. This couldn't be an easy spell to cast or defeat but his magic seemed to keep it at bay.

If anything, he hoped that Morgause would come to get him soon. There was only so much that he could take from the illusions and he could feel his magic weaken as they wore him down.

He couldn't go under her spell.

* * *

Morgause smirked as she walked down the hall to get Merlin. He should be totally under her power now. She could leave him in there for longer just to make sure but she was sure that he had suffered enough.

She remembered when she was shown the power of the mandrake root. The man that had been put into the room came out a bubbling mess but then followed Llath, her mentor, around as if he was some dog. She had wanted to try it for a while now but never found the right opportunity. She was glad that Merlin took up her offer, it had fulfilled that dream.

* * *

"It's okay." She said softly, stroking Merlin's hair.

She was happy that his arms were over his head so that he couldn't see how wide her smile was. It was exactly how she remembered it and it felt good to have this sort of power over a man. They think they are the better sex but this should that it was the women.

"It is all over now." She continued.

Merlin whimpered. He knew that he wasn't under her spell but she couldn't know that. He would have to stick close to her. She may think that she had the upper hand but really he did. For once he was the one in charge.


	26. The Notes

_Sorry this wasn't updated yesterday. I was going to but then I had to go to work and then I was too tired after work to update. So that is why I am updating today._

 _But not to fear, I am planning on updating tomorrow._

 _Enjoy_

* * *

 **The Notes**

"You are dismissed Merlin." Morgause said.

Merlin gave a short bow before disappearing down the servant's corridor, away from her chambers. He could sing at how much information he had against Essetir. Morgause had included him in every single meeting they had about their plans. He had to make sure that he wrote it all down when he got back to his room, he would forget it all otherwise. They had asked him questions but he came up with the excuse that Uther rarely liked servants being in meetings. They bought it.

He could do so much with the information he had. He could easily take down Essetir three times over. He tapped the wall in glee. He had no idea why he was so happy.

It reminded him that he should probably let Gwen know what was happening. She would probably be in Camelot worrying herself silly.

He turned down the next corridor and ended up in the servant's quarters.

* * *

Gwen was surprised when a note with her name arrived. She would have been happier if she recognised the handwriting. It looked too sloppy to be Arthur's, so she opened it apprehensively.

Realistically she shouldn't have been so surprised that Merlin could write. He could seem to do everything else and she knew that Gaius believed it to be an important skill because he was the one to teach her to read and write.

The content worried her. He had said that Arthur had arrived and was currently in a cell with Morgana. She wondered why he wasn't with them.

She would just have to wait for his next note.

* * *

Merlin weaved around the people in the kitchen.

"Food for the prisoners!" The cook shouted.

He watched as one of the serving girls picked up two plates of food. He followed her until he was just behind her. He used his magic to knock her out and managed to catch her and the food as they fell. Merlin dragged her into an alcove and hoped that she would wake up before someone found her.

* * *

The guard opened the door and Merlin put the food down for Morgana. She grabbed his sleeve and he gave her a quick wink. She closed her eyes, thankful to the goddess that nothing had happened to him.

She watched him walk down the hall with the guard in tact before she grabbed her food. She pulled a note out of the bread.

"Arthur, look in your food."

"Why?" He said with his mouth full.

"Merlin has placed a note in mine. He may have put one in yours as well."

She sat down and read what he wrote.

 _Morgana, I managed to stay myself, my magic was strong enough to stop whatever spell she wanted me under. Morgause wants to have a game changer. She wants to send out a message that they are in charge now. Be ready. That is when we are going to leave._

Morgana turned to look at Arthur to see him reading.

"Mine says to be ready. He has a plan. Does yours have any more details?"

"That is realistically all mine says as well."

"We're going to get out of here Arthur. Just you watch."

* * *

He had to make sure that they could make it back safe. He knew that if there were some of Camelot's knights, they would be less likely to follow them across the border. But how could he get them there.

"How are we going to send this message?" Morgause asked.

"With their execution."

Both Morgause and Merlin turned to look at Cenred.

"Are you mental?"

Cenred tapped his cup against the side of his chair and Merlin quickly filled it up. "No, it will send the message we are after. We will let them wait a bit longer. This time next week they will be sentenced and the next day, they will no longer have a head."

"You are mental!" Morgause snapped.

"My council has been asking me to do it since Arthur Pendragon entered that cell." Cenred roared. "I have been putting them off the idea but I have very little belief that anything else would make Uther bend his knee. Does he even know they are in my dungeon?"

"Probably not. Uther will wage war on you."

"Isn't that what we want? Camelot will be left without an heir and their current king can die with a sword in his hand and belly. We can take Camelot for ourselves. We would have won it."

"But …" Morgause started.

"This isn't a time to be sentimental. Your sister doesn't want to know you because of him. He is only safe because of whatever spell you have him under. Morgause, this is what you want."

She stood up. "Yes I want Uther's downfall but I will not allow you to kill my sister in the process. Merlin, with me."

He followed her as she stormed out of the room.

"That man." She seethed. "I am going to kill him one of these days." And that was when it struck her. "Maybe we could save Morgana." She turned to him. "You are mine. I want you to ask for Morgana's hand. I don't partially want my sister marrying a servant but if it will save her life then it will have to be."

Merlin gave her a short nod before she turned back to the hall.

* * *

"Gaius I need your help." Gwen said as she entered the chambers.

"How may I be of service again?"

"They need a group of knights on the border in a week's time." She held up the note.

Gaius took it off her and read it himself. "How are we going to explain this to Uther?"

"Hunith." She said after a while. "Hunith could have seen that there was so activity near the border and thinks it would be best if Camelot checked on it."

"But they would just walk through."

"Not if we said that they would be there for a certain amount of time. Come on Gaius what else can we say?"

"No much."

"That's sorted then. Who is going to tell him?"

"I suppose I should." Gaius said, walking towards the door.

Gwen smiled. They would be home soon and everything would go back to normal.


	27. Do You Trust Me?

**Do You Trust Me?**

Merlin watched as the guards opened the doors to the cells and got them out. He heard the guards behind him turn on their heel as they moved to leave. The guard that had Morgana pushed her roughly.

"Watch it!" Merlin shouted at him. "I will take them."

He took Morgan's arm at the elbow and the cuff of Arthur's shirt. He heard the guards fall in line at the back. He waited till they were out of the dungeon before he spoke.

"Do you trust me?"

Arthur went to turn and look at him but Merlin kept his head straight.

"Why?" Arthur whispered.

"Because I need you to trust me if we are to escape."

He saw Morgana give a short nod out of the corner of his eye. She must know what he meant. She must know that he is planning on using magic. This could be the beginning of his destiny or the end. This could make Arthur trust him more or burn all his bridges. They had to get out and it was the only way.

Arthur sighed heavily before nodding as well.

"I just hope you are ready to run." Merlin whispered before they entered the hall.

The guards in front of them stopped by the door and he carried on walking forward with them, stopping them about ¾ of the way down the hall. He stepped back slightly and the guards behind stopped on the same line.

Everything was regimented and Merlin hated it. If they were a millimetre out of line, then Cenred would throw a fit. Everything was so precise. He could feel where he had been hit on the hand for filling his goblet up too much. Merlin would have thought that he wouldn't complain if it was filled to the top, but Cenred likes quarters and halves, his goblet needs to be filled ¾ of the way up. Merlin couldn't wait to get out of here.

The whole hall was silent, waiting for Cenred to speak. His eyes flicked to Morgause and she nodded. He knew what he had to do. It wasn't the worse plan in the world but he knew Cenred would say no. His whole plan rested on that fact.

Cenred started to tap his fingers on the arm of his throne. "What to do with you?" He stood up. "In front of me are Arthur Pendragon, the Crowned Prince and Heir to Camelot, and Morgana Le Fay, Uther Pendragon's ward. Both are committing treason by being here. What does the council say?"

Merlin watched as one of the older lords stepped forward.

"The council's decision is that there is only one sentence that you can pass, execution. If it was the other way round, Uther would have already had their rotting bodies sent back to Essetir."

Arthur leant forward to speak but rocked back. He knew it wouldn't help his case.

"Thank you Lord Redbraid." Cenred looked back to his two prisoners. "Sometimes I would disagree with the council but on this one occasion. I, Cenerd Kearford, King of Essetir, sentence Arthur Pendragon and Morgana Le Fay of Camelot to be executed. Tomorrow, when the sun has risen, you will be taken from your cell and led outside. It will be your last journey."

Arthur took a step forward but couldn't take any more.

"My father won't allow this to go unchallenged Cenred. If the treaty between us wasn't broken before it definitely would be now."

"Like it would be a great loss. What has Camelot ever done to benefit Essetir other than not be at war? Do we get the same supplies and help as all your other alliances?"

"That is a part of their treaty. It could have been part of yours but you didn't want Camelot's help."

Cenred grumbled.

Merlin met Morgause's eyes and he took a step forward. "Milord may I make a suggestion?"

He turned to him, glaring daggers. "Go on."

Merlin noted to himself to hit Arthur over the head when this was all over. He had ruffled Cenred's feathers. But it would be more likely that he would say no.

"Would there be any chance I could take Morgana as my wife?" Both Arthur and Morgana turned to him. "I understand that marrying her would be marrying a traitor but I would know how to handle her. I would teach her how to behave and be a respectable member of this society. I believe that she would be extremely valuable to you alive."

Cenred stared at him. "You want to do what?" He roared. "How dare you?"

He tried to remain calm and reserved but he couldn't help it. Cenred was quiet scary when he was angry and Merlin was scared that he was going to pulled out one of the swords on his back and kill them all there and then.

Instead he turned to Morgause. " _You_ put him up to say that, didn't you?" He accused her.

Merlin was happy that the emphasis was taken off him and he took small steps forward towards them.

" _You_ want to kill my only living relative. He is under my control not yours. He will follow me and she will follow him."

"Seems like their alliance may be over soon." Merlin whispered to them.

Morgana reached for his hand. "Can we go yet?"

"Wait one moment." Merlin stood up tall. "Hey Morgause." He waited for them to turn to them. "Bit of a mistake really. I am not under your spell. See I am Emrys and if you know what that means then you know what I am meant to do. Just so you know this is us leaving." He grabbed Arthur's arm and started to mutter. "Afeorsian ús forþweg, afeorsian ús hwærhwega gehealdfæst*"

As Merlin said the spell, he realise that he should have tested it beforehand to make sure that it would work. But when he felt the winds pick up, he knew it had.

* * *

*take us away, take us somewhere safe.


	28. Ealdor

**Ealdor**

Teleporting felt weird. It felt like they were being pulled apart and being put back together again. Merlin leant on his knees as they landed. His stomach lurched and he was sure he was going to be sick. He looks up to see where they were. His face dropped. He had hoped to be in Ealdor but they were just on top of the hill that led into Essetir.

He turned to his friends. "Come on, we need to get moving."

Morgana went to take a step forward when Arthur sprung up and pinned Merlin to a tree.

"It was magic. That was magic. You have magic."

"Arthur now is not the time." Merlin said, trying to get out of his grip.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run you through."

Merlin stopped struggling and he was sure Morgana was about to hit him. "Because I have just save your royal backside and if we don't run, your pretty little head with soon be rotting on a spike above the gates." He paused for a moment, trying to think of something else that would snap him out of this daze. "Plus you don't have anything to run me through. Please can we get moving?"

The sound of a horn made Arthur turn to look at Essetir. He knew that sound because he had blown the horn many times. Two long blasts meant that prisoners had escaped. He let Merlin go and started to run. Merlin sighed before grabbing Morgana's hand and followed Arthur.

"Head towards Ealdor." Merlin shouted.

Soon they heard the howls of the hounds and the horses braying, Merlin knew that they had to find a quicker way or run a hell of a lot faster. His magic reacted to his need and he saw a shorter path. It would be more off road than this path and be difficult to navigate but he didn't want to see what Morgause had planned for him if they went back to Essetir. He pushed on and caught up with Arthur.

"Down here." He said, starting to dart through the trees.

"I am sure this would be slower." Arthur said angrily.

"The trees are too close together. They won't be able to get the horses through." Merlin argued. "It is a more direct route. You will see."

"Why couldn't we have been taken further?" Morgana asked.

Merlin turned to look back at her. "I wish that as well. I had hoped that we would have been taken straight to Ealdor. To be honest, it was the first time I had done the spell so I am quite glad that we went as far as we did."

"You mean to say that we could have been in Ealdor." Arthur shouted at him.

Merlin rolled his eyes. He wished that Arthur would just listen sometimes. He had just said that. "Yes, I realise now that I should have probably practised it but I didn't want to make Morgause suspicious. Other than that hiccup, everything is going to plan so far."

They keep ahead of the knights and ran into Ealdor, straight to Merlin's old home.

"Mother?" He shouted.

Hunith came out of the house and gave them a cup each. "I had hoped to see you earlier."

Merlin glugged down the water. "Sorry, spell went a little wrong." He panted.

He had felt fine all the time he was run but he was feeling exhausted now. He legs felt like jelly and he was sure that he wouldn't be able to take another step. He leant against the door frame.

He watched Arthur and Morgana tuck into the bread roll they were given but he was sure he couldn't eat. He'd had a meal before getting them, they were denied theirs.

"How have they taken it?" She whispered.

"Morgana took it quite well considering. I got a slap but I deserved that. She listen and then made her own decision. You can tell that she is no longer on Morgause's side." He explained.

"And Arthur?"

"Not very well. If we weren't so close to Essetir, I swear we could be arguing over it now. He said 'Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run you through'. I swear if he did have a weapon then he would have. He was so angry mother."

"And when you get back to Camelot, you can explain to him properly. This could be the start of something new." She handed him a backpack. "It's just a few supplies just in case your knights aren't there. You still have far to go until you are in Camelot."

He nodded. "We should get going. We are cutting it very fine and we are on foot while they have horses." He turned to Arthur and Morgana and could see that they were in not better state than he was. "Ready?"

"Wait a second. Hunith, you don't have a knife I could quickly borrow?"

Hunith nodded before getting it. Morgana cut into her dress, about two inches from the floor. After she had made it, she ripped the fabric, so it came off.

"I really like this dress but I cannot run any further holding it up or with it around my ankles."

Merlin didn't argue with her. Both he and Arthur had trousers on and he must admit that he could never want to try and run in a dress. Not that he ever would.

"Come on, they will be here soon." Merlin said.

Not long after they heard the hooves and the dogs growling. They were after their blood and Merlin was starting to believe that even if there were Camelot's men at the border, that they would cross it. They had been a valuable asset to them. Having the Prince of Camelot and Uther's ward in their grasp would have been a game changer. Uther probably would have paid handsomely for their release.

"Move!" Arthur shouted and Merlin didn't need telling a second time.

As they ran through the village, the candles quickly went out and the whole place was filled with darkness.

"Please say that you know another short cut."

Merlin pushed hard to be in front. "Follow me."


	29. The Knights

_Ahhh we are on the_ _penultimate chapter!_

* * *

 **The Knights**

They managed to keep a good pace as they ran through the trees. Merlin felt so pumped at the moment that he thought that he would be able to run the speed all the way back to Camelot. His arms flayed around as they went down a hill.

He was quite impressed by the distance they had made. It would usually take him about a quarter of a day to reach the border between Camelot and Essetir but Merlin knew that it wasn't far and they had managed to keep this speed for about an hour now. Just the trip from Ealdor to Essetir took him easily two days. But then again Merlin was walking and wasn't such a rush.

It was incredible what the body could do when you needed it to. Merlin was sure that if he wasn't being chased, he would have stopped ages ago due to exhaustion or because he had tripped over his feet. There had been some close calls but he hadn't landed on his face yet.

He could tell that they all were starting to lag but the sight of red and gold gave him joy. Merlin sighed loudly.

"Oh Gwen, I am going to kiss you when I get back." He shouted with glee.

"You are not!" Both Arthur and Morgana shouted to it.

He turned to look at them. "It's a figure of speak. I had no idea how she was going to do it but I am glad they are there."

Arthur laughed as he saw them. "We aren't far."

"No we are not."

It spurred them all on.

* * *

Leon stood at the border and waited. The reason Uther had given them for being there had made no sense to him but he was duty bound to follow the orders of the king. When he had asked Gwen about it, she had spilt to him. She had mentioned that Arthur had sent her the note that told her that he was in Essetir and that Merlin had sent her a note for them to be on the border. He didn't question her. If Arthur, Morgana and Merlin were going to escape, they were sure to be followed.

The thing that Leon never understood was why no ransom had been sent to Camelot. He was sure that Uther would pay handsomely for both his son and ward. Leon was sure that the king had gone mad by their disappearance. The castle had seemed quieter as well. He hoped that them being back would make everything go back to some sort of normality.

"How much longer do we have to be here Leon? They obviously aren't going to be here. We have been tricked."

"Our orders were to wait for sunrise before we left. The stars have only just come out. We have a while yet my friend. Make yourself comfortable. It is going to be a long night."

Part of Leon had wondered if they had got out of Essetir. If they hadn't then he was sure they would hear of their deaths by the morn.

"Leon, look!"

Leon looked up to see three figures running through the forest. He smiled and laughed. But then it dropped when at least 20 horses came over the brow of the hill. They were too close for comfort and he was sure that they would catch up.

But they seemed to run even faster. Leon was impressed if they had ran the whole thing. It was easily a day's ride from here to Essetir. But Merlin was from here, maybe he knew a short cut.

He watched as Arthur overtake Merlin and make it over the border. Leon caught him as he couldn't stop.

"Thank you my friend." Arthur said, placing his hands on his shoulders.

"You're safe now." Leon said.

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief and placed his head on Leon's shoulder. "It is good to hear that."

"MERLIN!" He heard Morgana shout.

Arthur's head shot up and he turned to look at the scene behind him.

* * *

Merlin saw Arthur shoot past him. It didn't matter. They all wanted to get home. It would only be a matter of time before he joined him as well.

He lent back as he almost fell. He had no idea what he had tripped on but he was thankful that he hadn't fallen. It would be deadly now.

He could hear the horses behind him but he didn't want to look back to see how close they were. It may have spurred him on but Merlin thought that it would only scare him.

He could have been a metre from the border when Morgana shouted his name.

He stopped and looked behind him. He found some energy to run back to help her.

* * *

Morgana had lagged behind the boys most of the way. They weren't just stronger than her but they were probably fitter. She spent most of her day sitting around and while she carried very little weight, she could have easily gave up back in Ealdor.

She smiled widely when she saw the knights. Merlin had mentioned that he didn't know if they would be there or not but she was glad that they were.

The next thing she knew, she was hurtling to the floor. She rolled for a bit before stopping. A sharp pain shot through her ankle and she knew that wasn't the only place she had hurt. She dared to look behind her. The knight would close on her soon.

"MERLIN!" She screamed.

She watched him stop and turn around. She tried to get up but felt so tired that she struggled. She felt as weak as she was when she woke up from the poison.

Merlin lifted her up and placed her arm around his shoulder. "Do you think you could still walk?"

They took a step and she whimpered. "No." She cried.

He went in front of her and encouraged her on his back. She jumped on but by that point it was too late. Merlin went to move but was stopped by the sword pointing at him, hovering at his throat.

"End of the line." The knight said.

She held on to him tighter. She was now the one to stop their escape. She closed her eyes, preparing herself for what was to come.

Morgana only opened her eyes went she heard a thud. The knight in front of her was no longer on his horse and Merlin took the opportunity to run again.

"Come on." He shouted at Arthur and Leon, who had their swords locked.

They all ran over the border and watched as the knights came a metre from it and turned away.

Merlin managed to put Morgana down before he almost collapsed on the floor.

"We did it." He looked up and smiled at Morgana. "We did it. We escaped them."

She shared in his glee.

"Come on, let's get you home." Leon said.

"Home." Merlin repeated. "Home seems good right about now."


	30. Do You Love Me?

_And here we are. On the last chapter._

 _I would like to take the opportunity to thank you all for all the reviews that you have left and for following and favouriting this story._

 _I hope that you like how I have left it and I hope you stay tuned for some more stories from me._

 _Taking place of this fic will be the long awaited sequel to The Fomorroh's Poison so if you have read that fic, the first chapter will be out on Sunday._

 _I hope that you have enjoyed this story and will enjoy this chapter._

 _Lets get on with the show._

* * *

 **Do You Love Me?**

"I must say I was wrong about you. You are very loyal to both Arthur and Morgana. I commend you for that." Uther said.

Merlin hadn't expected to receive any thanks for what happened but he had some suspicion that they may have bigged up his role.

"You are a hero. Even Leon tells me of how you went back for Morgana after she tripped. It was a brave thing to do."

"It was my honour and duty." Merlin said.

"That was beyond duty. It is something that needs rewarding. Arthur has thought of something for you. Go and see him."

Merlin gave him a short bow before he left Uther's study.

The castle felt lighter and better now. Laughter seemed to fill the halls once more. He smiled as Gwen walked down the hall.

"Gwen." He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Gwen asked.

"I am happy to see you and for making sure that there were knights there. How you managed it I will never know but thank you for it. I told Arthur and Morgana that I was going to kiss you when I got back. They didn't seem too happy with it."

She laughed. "Well it is good that you are back. And them as well. Everything has gone back to normal."

"We are far from normal Gwen. Cenred wants war. We will be preparing for that. Bearing in mind if he is still alive. Morgause was pretty angry at him. She would have killed him."

"We will have to see."

They stood there smiling at each other for a while.

"I better go and see Arthur."

"Right." Gwen said, carrying on her way.

Merlin sighed heavily. He should probably get this over and done with.

* * *

"Explain?"

"Sorry?" Merlin asked.

"Explain your magic? I have been trying to understand it but I can't."

"I was born with it. My mother used to tell me stories of how she was terrified to light candles because she thought I would set the house on fire with a cry or a laugh. My magic is quiet … instinctual. Like in the forest, my magic showed me a shorter path. I didn't ask it to, it just did it. But I can control it."

Arthur nodded as he processed the information. "What about … Morgause was correct about my mother, wasn't she?"

"Yes." Merlin answered. "I couldn't allow you to kill your father though. It wouldn't feel right for you to start your reign that way. Morgause would have still manipulated you. Plus at that point I didn't even know my father."

Arthur looked up at him. "You do now?"

"Balinor was my father. I was glad that I knew him for as long as I did."

"I'm guessing I never defeated that dragon."

Merlin shook his head. "Don't worry he likes you. You will have to meet him one day. I doubt he will try and fry you again. Well I can order him not to."

"I understand why you kept it from me. My father has trained me to hate it and I would have no idea what I would have done if I did have a sword on me when we escaped. But I do owe you. Don't worry your secret is safe with me and I will try my hardest to see the good in it. Maybe when I am king, I will even make it legal." He paused for a moment. "I do have one request though. Tell Gwen. She deserves to know. I suspect that it was you that healed her father when the anfac was in the water. It was brave of you to do that."

"You have very little idea what I have done for you."

Arthur smiled. "A story for another time."

"I will admit, when I first met you, you were a prat. But now I think I can see the man that destiny talks about."

Arthur leant forward. "Destiny?"

"You are the Once and Future King that will unite Albion and return magic to the land, with my help of course."

"You called yourself Emrys."

"It's what the druids call me." He explained. "I am regarded as their saviour."

"We can make it happen." Arthur said.

Merlin nodded and smiled at him. He was so glad that he had taken it well.

* * *

Morgana stood in the doorway for a moment. She watched Merlin as he leant against the wall. She could tell that he was still hurting from his ordeal in Essetir but put on a brave face to everyone else. She hobbled along to meet him.

"Hey."

He turned and smiled at her. "Hey."

"You wanted to see me."

"I wanted to ask how you were but when there are guards everywhere, I thought it might be suspicious if I was hanging about your room. Uther had called me a hero. I don't want that feeling to go away."

"Did he now? I did put in a good word."

"I guessed that."

"My ankle hurts still and I cannot put much pressure on it but Gaius says it will heal. What about you?"

"He said exactly the same to me. He said that most of it will scar though. Apparently he had seen worse but not for a while."

"What do you think Morgause would have done if you didn't coming searching for me?" Morgana asked.

"You would probably be her puppet in Camelot. You would feed information to her and I would be stopping you."

She hesitated for a moment. "How did Arthur take the whole magic thing?"

"Pretty well actually, well for his first reaction anything would be better." He paused. "I did think that it was the only way. I shouldn't have been so naïve."

"You had to act with what you had."

"I felt so guilty because of it. Uther had turned into this mess and I could tell that Arthur and Gwen were affected by it too."

"Well you have redeemed yourself. I had started to hate you but there was always a part of me that couldn't truly hate you. Morgause's reasons didn't match up."

"She said it was because you had magic, wasn't it?"

Morgana nodded. "Do you love me?"

Merlin creased his brow at her question. "Yes, of course. I thought you would have got that from what I said when I was in the cell. Why do you ask?"

"Because I love you and I didn't want it to be a one way thing."

She lifted herself on to her tiptoes and kissed his lips. He wrapped her arms around her waist to bring her closer and deepened the kiss.


End file.
